Teach Me To Love
by DriftingXDreamer
Summary: Through a series of events and memories, Yuki realises he has feelings that go beyond friendship and family affection for Haru. At first he tries to deny and hide these feelings, but he can't continue to do so unless he wants to lose Haru. Yaoi. Yuki/Haru
1. Distractions in Mathematics

**A/N. **Well then, this is the first chapter. It's not very eventful really, it's just the beginning and all the more interesting happenings occur in later chapters. Such as the Yuki/Haru love (Yay!).

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Furuba awesomeness, not the characters, names, titles, plots etc etc etc. I am merely borrowing some of it to have some fun!

Warnings: Not a lot to warn you about, just boy on boy (aka Yaoi) and mentions of past child abuse in later chapters, and there shan't be much swearing at all, unless you count words like damn and shit as highly offensive. Although chances are those words won't be in it much anyways!

This entire story is dedicated to a fantastic person: Mariah! (A.k.a. yukiharuyaoi). Without whom I probably wouldn't have forced myself to sit myself down and actually write this! If you haven't read her fics (she has Yuki/Haru yaoi!) I highly suggest you do so!

BTW, the italics are either a memory/flashback or thoughts.

-Mariah, I hope you enjoy this! ^.^

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**Chapter One**

Yuki Sohma was sitting in his classroom, gazing absent mindedly out the window, waiting for the other students to finish the equations written on the board so that the teacher could rub them off and write up new ones. There was nothing out of the ordinary going through his mind, only his usual speculation on how mathematics is so much easier to figure out than the real world.

Outside on the oval, Yuki could see what looked like a sports lesson. Amongst the other students, he saw two people that he recognised.

One was Momiji Sohma. The small boy was running along gleefully, smiling and laughing as he usually did. Yuki wanted to know how he did that. How it was that after all the pain and tragedy Momiji had suffered in his short life, he was still able to remain so jubilant all the time. He acted as though he was the happiest boy in the world.

And then there was the other person he recognised: Hatsuharu Sohma.

Haru was jogging along with the rest of his classmates, keeping a vigil eye on Momiji. Yuki smiled to himself; though Momiji was small and childish he was the same age as Haru, but still the white haired boy was as protective of him as though the rabbit was an 8 year old boy amongst a group of teens. Yuki admired that in him, the affectionate and protective nature that existed behind his seemingly blank personality.

As though Haru sensed the gaze that was aimed on him, he stopped jogging and turned towards the building Yuki's classroom was in and saw the older teen watching him through the window. Immediately, his face lit up into a smile and he waved at Yuki enthusiastically.

Yuki was momentarily taken aback at being caught staring at someone so outwardly, but recovered from his shock in time to smile back and return the wave, which only seemed to please Haru more.

Haru continued to smile at Yuki, seeming not to notice that he had been separated from his class, until he turned towards his gym teacher and Yuki realised the man was yelling at Haru, most likely telling him to get a move on. Haru turned back towards Yuki, waved once more and smiled apologetically, then ran off to join the others.

Yuki waved goodbye to Haru, and heard his teacher cough rather loudly in the background. But it wasn't until he turned back to the front of the classroom that he realised his teacher had been coughing to get _his_ attention specifically.

"Is there something outside that requires your attention to be taken away from your schoolwork, Yuki Sohma?" Mr. Nakamura inquired. He was their new mathematics teacher and news that he had developed some serious anger issues had spread throughout the entire school already.

"No Mr. Nakamura," Yuki turned his attention back to the board, where he found new equations. He hadn't realised Mr. Nakamura had written up new ones.

"Then pay attention to the board,"

Yuki nodded and began copying the equations into his book and tried to ignore the looks of his peers. He was the class, no, the _school _role model and everyone was slightly shocked that the teacher had spoken to Yuki in class for a purpose other than to praise him, no matter how small a berating it had been. Out of the corner of his eye he even saw Tohru and Kyo looking at him. Although whereas Tohru looked slightly concerned Kyo just wore the same look of annoyance he got whenever the attention went to Yuki.

Yuki continued his work but found his mind drifting elsewhere, as it seemed to be doing more and more recently. And of all the things it could've settled on, his mind chose to think of the way Haru had looked so happy to see Yuki smiling at him. There was something about the way he had stopped and smiled at Yuki… It reminded him of a time when they were little, it had only been a couple of months prior to Haru's outburst at Yuki and the beginning of their friendship.

_Yuki sat in the window, the very same window he had been sitting in when Haru had first met him properly, staring out at nothing in particular. His gaze seemed to be unable to stay on any one particular thing for too long, as though if his train of thought didn't continually shift his mind might begin to ponder upon the harsh words that had been spoken to him earlier that day. He looked at the trees stretching up towards the sky, the grass blowing freely in the breeze, the flowers blooming in the sun and the fluffy white clouds dotted against the clear blue space above. He kept shifting his eyes from one to the other, trying desperately to distract himself from thinking about that morning… But still, the words came back to haunt him._

"_You're worthless! No one cares that I hurt you, because no one cares about you! No one loves you and no one ever will!"_

_As more and more venomous words began to flood his mind, Yuki's eyes began to sting with tears. He tried to blink them away, but a few escaped and slithered down his face. He wiped them away angrily._

_He began looking around for something else to distract himself, something more captivating than the gardens. And then he saw what he was looking for._

_Less than a hundred metres away, in an empty yard in the middle of the garden, was a group of about ten Sohma children, running around joyfully; it looked as though they were playing a game of tag. Most of them Yuki didn't know, but he recognised Haru and Momiji running around with the other children. In fact, it looked like Momiji had been tagged and was now chasing after a very timid looking boy who Yuki then recognised to be Ritsu. The monkey looked to be suffering inner turmoil over whether he should follow the rules of the game and run away or just let Momiji catch him. The expression of confusion on his face was almost humorous enough to make Yuki smile a little. _

_Almost, but not quite._

_He began watching the children intently, and soon he found himself envying them, envying their free will. He stayed watching them for quite some time, having no other way to pass the time._

_And then Yuki realised that Haru had stopped in the middle of the yard. For a moment he wondered what on Earth the younger boy was doing, if he just stood there he would be caught by the chaser. But then he realised that Haru was looking directly at him. In fact, the white haired boy was smiling and waving at him too! Yuki wasn't quite used to people waving at him, let alone people actually smiling at him. It made him especially uneasy that it was Haru smiling at him, the younger boy tended to have a rather blank expression on his face most times, except for when his other personality came out._

_Nevertheless, Yuki tentatively raised his own hand and waved back. Haru's smile was so genuine and kind, he couldn't help but smile back too, even though his smile was no where near as large and jubilant as Haru's._

_Yuki expected that to be it. He expected that now Haru had at least acknowledged him he would return to playing with his friends. His proper friends. So he was completely shocked when he realised that Haru had abandoned his game and was running towards Yuki._

"_Hi Yuki!" he exclaimed once he had reached the window._

"_H-hello Haru," _

"_Why are you sitting in that window again?" his expression had turned slightly blank again, though the smile remained in his eyes._

"_I'm just waiting…"_

"_Waiting for what?"_

"_Waiting for Akito to come back…" Yuki could hear it himself, the edge of sadness and fear that always crept into his soft little voice when he mentioned the head of the Sohma family._

_Whether Haru noticed it or not, he didn't show it. But Yuki liked to think that his next words were his attempt at comfort, "Well then why don't you come and play with us while you wait for him? We're playing tag, it's fun,"_

_He was surprised to be invited to join in a game, but unfortunately accepting the offer wasn't a very good idea, "Thank you Haru, but I can't. I'm not allowed,"_

"_Why not?" now there was confusion in both his voice and his face. He didn't know that Yuki wasn't there of his own free will._

"_I'm just not," Yuki snapped. He didn't want to talk about his misfortunes with Akito, not ever. But when Haru flinched at the aggressive tone in his normally passive voice he regretted speaking like that to him, "I'm sorry Haru, I'm not in a very good mood today… You can go play with your friends if you want, you don't have to stay and talk to me,"_

"_No," Haru stated in a stubborn voice as he sat himself down in front of the window, "I want to stay here and keep you company,"_

"_Haru, you don't have to-"_

"_I'm staying. I want to, really I do," _

_Yuki studied his face for a moment. He genuinely seemed to want to stay with him, though he didn't see why he would want to. Yuki didn't think there was anything special or interesting about himself, why would Haru want to stay with him?_

"_Okay then… What would you like to talk about?"_

_For a while after that Haru sat outside Yuki's window and spoke to him about every little insignificant thing he could think of, just for the sake of conversation. At one point, they even talked about the different colours of the flowers in the garden. _

_But eventually, Yuki heard footsteps making their way towards his room, and they most likely belonged to Akito. He immediately began to panic, if Akito saw that Yuki was socialising with someone without his permission, how much punishment would he be given? It scared him to think about it… and what about Haru? Would he be punished too? Yuki couldn't stand the thought of his only friend being hurt on his account._

"_Akito's coming. Haru, you have to go!"_

"_What…?" Haru didn't understand why he had to leave, but he stood up anyway._

"_If Akito sees me talking to you we'll both be in trouble! You have to go, now!"_

"_But why-"_

"_Haru, _now!"

_Haru hesitated only for a moment, but the urgency in Yuki's voice must have been clear, because the younger boy turned and began to make his way back to his friends, calling back over his shoulder to Yuki, "I'll come back and visit you again, promise!"_

_Yuki didn't really believe him, not fully. He never trusted anyone when they promised him things anymore; he had already learnt in the past that it hurts to have a promise broken. _

_But still, as he got down from the windowsill and turned towards the door, he hoped that Haru would keep his promise, if only so he could see his friend again-_

"Yuki Sohma! Stop ignoring me and do your work!" Mr. Nakamura's loud voice shook Yuki from his reminiscing and back into the present, where he found himself being yelled at by his teacher in front of the entire class. He hadn't realised that he had completely zoned out. How much time had passed? And how long had Mr. Nakamura been yelling at him?

For a moment Yuki didn't quite register what his teacher had said to him, "Pardon sir?"

"Don't be smart with me!"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

"I don't care what you meant, stop being disrespectful and do your work like everyone else here!" Yuki had heard that Mr. Nakamura was strict, but his level of aggression came as quite a shock to the entire class. No one had expected it to be so easy to wind him up, no matter how angry the rumors claimed him to be.

In a calm and polite voice Yuki said, "Mr. Nakamura, I honestly didn't mean you any disrespect,"

This only seemed to enrage the man further, "You know what, I have had enough of you talking back! Maybe an afterschool detention will make you realise that no matter how popular you may be amongst your peers, I am still your superior!" he slammed a detention slip down on Yuki's desk.

As the realisation that Mr. Nakamura was actually seriously giving Yuki a detention set in, a collective gasp went through the class. Not only had Prince Yuki Sohma been yelled at on two separate occasions in one lesson, he had been given a detention. It was unbelievable.

Yuki could hardly believe it himself. This man was completely unreasonable and he was abusing his power as Yuki's superior. Or at least, that's what Yuki thought. And he would've liked to tell Mr. Nakamura that, but he had a feeling that wouldn't sit well with the aggressive teacher.

So instead, he simply turned his head towards his work and said in a defeated voice, "Yes sir,"

"That's what I thought," Mr. Nakamura smirked. Yuki disliked the man already, and from the fuming glares, it seemed apparent that the Prince Yuki Fan Club girls didn't either.

Yuki risked a glance up from his desk to see the bewildered faces of Tohru and Kyo.

Tohru looked even more concerned than she had been earlier, concerned and shocked. Kyo looked confused, but when Yuki glanced at him his face quickly distorted into an annoyed grimace.

Turning back to the equations in his book, Yuki sighed. Oh how he wished life was as straightforward and consistent as mathematics….

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**A/N. **Well done, you have successfully managed to read through the entire first chapter without meeting a terrible fate: death by boredom. Either that or you skipped parts…

Anyway, I hope you liked it. More shall be coming very soon! Faster if I get some encouraging reviews…. *hint hint* although on a more serious note, reviews would be extremly appreciated!

Thanks for reading! ^.^


	2. Bittersweet Life

**A/N. **Here it is, the second chapter! It's shorter than the first one, still not too much happening (apart from some hints at Yuki/Haru, yay!). But chapter three should prove to be more interesting…

Disclaimer: As I said before: I don't own any of the Furuba awesomeness, not the characters, names, titles, plots etc etc etc. I am merely borrowing some of it to have some fun!

Warnings: Same as last time, boy on boy (aka Yaoi) and mentions of past child abuse in later chapters, only very mild and infrequent bad language.

* * *

**Chapter Two**

When Yuki got back to Shigure's house after school (late, thanks to the unnecessary detention Mr. Nakamura had given him) he tried to be as silent and swift as possible. He strongly hoped that neither Tohru nor Kyo had told Shigure about his detention. It wasn't because he thought his guardian would be at all mad, he just didn't want the overly zealous man to interrogate and/or tease him; he was not in the mood for such things.

He didn't suspect Tohru would make his mathematics mishap known to his older cousin, but Kyo most definitely would not withhold himself from informing Shigure of the perfect Prince's slip up. Then again, the cat would probably want to avoid talking to Shigure unless it was absolutely necessary, and Yuki's school life certainly did not qualify for Kyo's list of important issues to be discussed.

Setting his shoes down gently, Yuki walked softly and slowly past Shigure's office door, hoping to avoid the dog whether he knew about his detention or not. As he walked past the kitchen, recognizing the familiar sound of Tohru humming away to herself as she cooked, he once again made an effort to stealthily avoid any form of contact.

Having successfully managed to make it to the staircase without so much as a single noise from Shigure, Tohru or even Kyo, Yuki let out a small sigh of relief. However, his mind wasn't at ease for long when he realised he would have to face all three of his housemates at dinner. Pushing that thought from his mind, Yuki made his way up to his room.

Unfortunately for Yuki, the silence in his room gave him far too much opportunity to reflect upon the day's events. The detention itself had been horrendous. Several of the students began interrogating him as soon as he had entered the room. Having assumed that Yuki was there as the Student Council President, they all thought he was there to make some sort of evaluation regarding the school's detention system. But once he had sheepishly told them he was there for detention, instead of stopping as Yuki had hoped they would, the flood of questions increased. Every student there refused to believe it until Yuki showed them his slip.

Collapsing onto his bed, Yuki tried to deduce exactly how he had ended up being sent there. He had been day dreaming, that was all it had been really, just a simple misunderstanding and an overreaction on his teacher's part. And what had he been day dreaming about? His childhood. His pain. Haru.

An odd expression came upon his face as he recalled the memory, a bizarre mixture of a frown and a smile. Because it was a bittersweet memory really, mixed with the joy of his thriving newfound friendship and the misery of his life of imprisonment in that room. But when Yuki thought about it, that was how his life always was. The good mixed with the bad, the two never fully separating into opposites, always hand in hand with one another. A bittersweet life.

What was it that had set him off exactly? It was unusual for such a memory to emerge during school, or any time other than when Yuki was actually trying to recall it. There was only one cause; Haru. The way he had smiled at Yuki. Those smiles, Yuki knew, were only reserved for moments of joy or the people Haru truly cared about. Yuki had always thought they were somewhat beautiful. The smile would suddenly light up Haru's usually stoic face, reaching into his captivating, stone grey eyes.

In fact, Haru's smiles were probably just one of the reasons Yuki loved him.

Up until then Yuki had been lying on his bed quite serenely, but as soon as the l word made its appearance in his mind he shot straight up into a sitting position. _One of the reasons I love him!_ Without a doubt, he had definitely used the word love. _No, no I meant like. His smiles are one of the reasons I _like _him…_ Somehow, those words didn't seem quite right. Like didn't seem to be a strong enough word for the way Yuki cared for Haru.

But surely it was fair for Yuki to love him, wasn't it? After all, Haru was family. No matter how distant or even non-existent their blood relation was, they had been raised to think of each other as cousins, and cousins were allowed to love each other. Although he had to admit, he had been thinking about Haru a fair bit recently…

He shook his head, as though it would literally dislodge the thoughts from his mind. He had enough to worry about as it was, he didn't need to add analysing his exact feelings for Haru to the list.

A distraction. That was what he needed, something to distract himself from his own musings. So he dug around in his school bag until he found some homework that needed finishing, it wasn't much, just basic physics, but it was enough to keep him busy until Tohru called them all in for dinner.

Sitting down at the dinner table was an awkward experience for Yuki. The others were already seated, which unfortunately on this occasion meant that Yuki was sitting next to Kyo, opposite Shigure. He was cornered by the two people he wanted to avoid the most in the world at that moment.

Shigure looked smug, as though he was preparing to insult or tease someone, Yuki feared he was most likely the older man's target. So perhaps he had heard about the detention. But it seemed unlikely that Tohru or Kyo would have told him. And then Yuki realised. The school must have called him! Of course, as he was Yuki's legal guardian, the school was obligated to inform Shigure if he was being kept back at the school for some reason. He felt rather idiotic for not realising that sooner. He had been too caught up in a fantasy which had revolved around the wonderful possibility that Shigure had no clue about the whole ordeal and that the others would simply not care to ask him about it.

Tohru, however, kept casting Yuki concerned looks. And on many occasions it looked as though she was about to say something to him, then either thought better of it or simply lost her nerve.

Kyo frequently glanced at Yuki in his peripheral vision, his face a mask of perpetual annoyance and frustration. He seemed to be curious about what had happened in the mathematics lesson, probably because it was so out of character for his rival, but he hated talking to Yuki for any purpose other than insulting him, and he only did so when it was either necessary or beneficial for him. But as this was deemed to be neither of those things, he didn't bother to ask, though the curious glances continued. _Curiosity killed the cat,_ Yuki thought, and he smiled to himself at his own little joke.

"So," Shigure began, breaking the silence that had filled the room, "How was your day, Tohru?"

"Huh?" Tohru was momentarily taken aback, having not expected any conversation to commence during the meal, "Oh yes, my day was fine! Thank you for asking, Shigure. How was your day?"

"My day was fantastic!" he shifted his gaze to the other side of the table, settling on Kyo, "And how was your day Kyo?"

"Yeah fine," Kyo didn't even bother looking up from his food.

By now, Yuki was suspicious of the dog. He didn't usually ask them one by one how their day was…

And finally Shigure set his sights on Yuki, "And how was _your_ day, Yuki? You were awfully late coming home from school today," Yuki slowly looked up from his dinner. Shigure's smirk told him everything he needed to know. The man was looking for a way to tease him humourously about what the school had informed him of, for his own entertainment. Yuki, however, most certainly did not want to be the victim of his humour.

"Shigure, you know perfectly well why I was late today,"

"Ah yes, I heard that Yuki was naughty today," he put his elbows on the table and his chin in his hands, looking at Yuki with his smirk still firmly in place, "But tell me, Yuki, what exactly did you do to earn yourself a detention?"

By now Tohru and Kyo were paying full attention to the conversation. Neither had been planning on asking Yuki directly about that afternoon, but that didn't mean they didn't want to know what had been going through Yuki's head at the time.

'It was just a simple misunderstanding, there's no need for any of you to concern yourselves over it," Yuki refused to give Shigure anything to tease or taunt him with.

Shigure's smirk was beginning to falter slightly, "So, how was the actual detention then?" but he was still looking for something to tease Yuki with.

"Well it wasn't the most enjoyable experience of my life, but it was endurable,"

Shigure seemed to have given up now, realising that there was no fun to be had in the conversation. Or perhaps it was just that he could tell Yuki was not in the best of moods and he didn't want to push him into doing something out of frustration; such as breaking another part of Shigure's house with Kyo's face. Either way the dog didn't say another word as Yuki finished his meal and excused himself from the table.

The rest of Yuki's evening was simply spent doing trivial tasks to keep himself busy and distract his mind from the odd and seemingly random thought he had had about Haru, such as organising his book shelf and sharpening his pencils for school. But that night, as he lay in bed waiting for sleep to come, Yuki thought of the next day to come with apprehension. Most likely news of his detention would have spread like wild fire through the student body by the morning. He would probably have to deal with stares and questions.

He only hoped that the day would not prove to be undeniably loathsome.

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**A/N. **Congratulations, yet again you managed to avoid death by boredom! And now I shall say thank you to the following people for reviewing the first chapter:

**yukixharuyaoi- **Teehee, you're welcome!

**Tuliharja- **Thanks! There will be several more 'flashback scenes' throughout the story. Indeed he is…

**mousecat- **Glad you liked it! Yes he's a very mean teacher .

**tazatiger1995- **Thank ya! Haha, long enough for his teacher to get very annoyed with him! T'would be, maybe you could write a detention-bail Yuki/Haru story? :D

**Pheonix09- **Thank you! Tis a good idea, but I had already written this chapter *facepalm* You could write it! You could use Mr. Nakamura too!

So guys, what did you think of the second chapter? Better? Worse? So terrible that you're going to chase me down with an axe and murder me for daring to call myself a fanfiction author? Well I hope not….

Thanks for reading again! Please review! ^.^

(Haru comes into the story in chapter three! :D)


	3. An Accident and the Psychic's Advice

**A/N. **Okey dokey, here's chapter three. I had intended to upload this a couple of days ago but then I went on a trip up the North-West and forgot to take my USB with all my writing on it *facepalm*. Anyway, this is a bit more eventful than the first two chapters…

Disclaimer: I repeat; I don't own any Furuba awesomeness such as the characters, names, titles, plots etc etc etc. Just borrowing it blah blah blah.

Warnings: Same dealio, boy on boy (aka Yaoi) and mentions of past child abuse, very mild and infrequent bad language.

* * *

**Chapter Three**

By lunch break the next day, Yuki was in a better mood than he thought he would have been.

Though he didn't like to admit it, it was thanks to his Fan Club Girls that he hadn't been ambushed with an army of students curious to hear his detention story. It seemed the girls had been running around the school explaining to everyone that Yuki hadn't done anything wrong and that Mr. Nakamura had been completely unfair and too harsh on their dear, sweet Prince and threatening dire consequences for anyone who bothered him about it. Usually Yuki disliked any sort of interference from the girls, but in this instance he was grateful.

Having obtained their lunch from their lockers already, Yuki, Kyo, Tohru, Uo and Hana were on their way to meet Haru and Momiji up on the roof. To any passers by the group would appear to be their usual selves, Kyo and Uo in a verbal fight, Yuki making witty remarks to the cat and Tohru as neutral as ever, with Hana walking along silently, watching everything. However, one amongst the group was not their usual self.

If Yuki was completely honest with himself, he had been dreading this lunch break. Momiji he could deal with, they hyper bunny would ask a few questions then get bored of the subject and move onto something more captivating to his interests. But no doubt Haru would be concerned. He would probably be the complete opposite of Momiji, he would worry silently and hang onto that concern until he was reassured that all was well.

Yuki decided he would have to be as calm and positive as ever. He didn't want Haru (or anyone for that matter) to fuss over him.

Once they arrived on the rooftop, Yuki smiled at the two younger teens and sat down with everyone. Just as Yuki had expected, as soon as he sat down, Haru sat next to him and took hold of a corner of his shirt that had been hanging loosely. He could see the younger boy watching him out of the corner of his eye, perhaps searching for any signs of distress.

"Hey Yuki, what was your detention like yesterday? Was it scary?" Momiji didn't bother with greetings, he just dived straight into questions.

"Oh, um, it was fine," Yuki had been planning on replying with a much more convincing and coherent explanation, but he found himself oddly distracted by how close Haru was. He judged this to be strange, Haru often placed himself quite close to Yuki and the rat had grown accustomed to it. But today it felt… Different. He found himself thinking about his speculation the night before. _His smiles are one of the reasons I love him... _He flinched slightly as he recalled the wording his mind had chosen. With those words going through his mind, the intimate proximity Haru had caused became far too awkward for Yuki's liking. So he shuffled a couple of inches away from his cousin, trying to regain personal space _and_ a logical train of thought.

"Really? Are you sure? Because you looked kinda scared just then…" Momiji was leaning forward slightly now, hands on his knees. The uncertainty in Yuki's voice had gained his interest.

The rest of the group was watching Yuki now, mistaking his discomfort at the lack of personal space between himself and Haru for some kind of fearful reaction to his recollection of detention. Hana looked especially interested, and she made no effort to hide her intent staring from Yuki, which made him feel very uneasy.

"I'm sure Momiji, it really wasn't all that bad," now he just wanted to stop them all from staring at him. Yuki was beginning to feel like a lab rat (if you'll pardon the pun) with the way everyone was watching him to see his course of action, and it was making him feel anxious.

A small frown came over Momiji's face, "Really? You kinda look like you're spacing out..."

"Yuki…" Haru's voice came from beside him, and Yuki could hear the concern in his words, "Are you okay?"

Yuki turned his face towards Haru to answer his question, but then wished he hadn't. Haru was looking directly at him, and their faces were barely more than 4 inches apart. It gave Yuki a tremendous shock. He was close enough to feel Haru's warm breath on his face, close enough to smell his familiar scent, so close that if he just leaned forward ever so slightly…

With an immense jolt, one that the others would have noticed for sure, Yuki realised that he had been looking down at Haru's lips, and that he had actually begun to lean towards the ox! Upon this realisation, Yuki gasped and stood up abruptly, startling everyone.

"Yuki? What's wrong?" Haru looked up at him from the ground with a perplexed expression.

Yuki couldn't stay now, he had to leave, he needed to be alone for a moment, "Excuse me," he mumbled as he headed towards the door, resisting the urge to glance back at his friends, "I need to use the bathroom…"

As soon as he was out of their sight, Yuki bolted for the nearest bathroom. Thankfully, the first one he found was empty, so he locked the door for the sake of privacy. Gasping for breath after his sprint, Yuki leaned against the locked door and slowly allowed his body to slide down to the floor, where he brought his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them.

What on Earth had just happened? Haru had only asked him a question, and then when Yuki turned to him their faces had been incredibly close, and before he realised what he was doing, Yuki had… Well there was no other way to say it. Yuki had been about to _kiss _Haru!

_It doesn't matter, _Yuki tried to convince himself. _It was just an accident. As long as the others didn't notice, I can just forget it ever happened… _He didn't believe it, he didn't believe himself. There was no way he could forget such a monumental thing. _As long as the others didn't realise…_

He couldn't go back to the rooftop yet, not in the state he was in; gasping for breath and panicking on the inside. He had to calm himself, and he had to handle this situation logically and appropriately. He couldn't face Haru unless he had a clear head, he undoubtedly did not want a repeat of that near kiss. Or did he…

Shaking his head at himself and frowning, he slowly lifted himself up from the ground and made his way over to one of the wash basins. Why was he thinking such things about Haru? His _cousin! _He turned the cold water tap and cupped his hands under the spout to catch the cool liquid and splashed it onto his face. Looking up, he caught sight of himself in the mirror. His face was wet with a mixture of both sweat and water, his eyes were still wide with shock, and his cheeks had turned a deep, rosy red colour. He prayed to whatever God existed, whether it was Akito or not, that his face hadn't been that shade of red up on the rooftop. It was so easy to see in comparison to his pale skin, if he had been blushing like that earlier, the others wouldn't have been able to miss it. Haru especially, considering how close he had been to Yuki…

Placing both his hands on the basin, he hung his head and closed his eyes, catching his breath. He couldn't go back if he was just going to keep remembering how close Haru had been, how eager he had been to lean forward and capture his lips with his own-

"_Stop it!"_ Yuki yelled, to no one but his own reflection. Where was all this coming from? Haru had been Yuki's first real friend as a child, and he was still one of his best friends. He couldn't seriously be developing feelings for Haru… Could he? But if he was, why was he only starting to feel more for him now, after all the years they had known each other?

Yuki groaned to himself. He couldn't have picked a worse person to have an attraction towards. Hatsuharu Sohma; not only was he a boy, he was Yuki's cousin and a member of the Zodiac. Akito would be furious if he found out, Yuki could only imagine how enraged he would be if he found out that the rat cared for someone that way, and he probably wouldn't be the only one to suffer the consequences…

So it was decided then, Yuki would not reveal these newfound feelings to anyone, no matter what. He would just have to remain logical about the whole ordeal, if he avoided interaction with Haru, his feelings would eventually dissipate and he and Haru could go on being friends. It was as simple as that. Besides, he didn't suspect this to be anything more than a silly little phase, just a small illogical crush...

Taking one last deep breath, Yuki took a look at himself in the mirror again. He looked considerably calmer and his cheeks were no longer red. Although he had to admit, he did look slightly paler than usual. But there was nothing he could do about that really, he just hoped Tohru wouldn't think he was ill. Or Haru, if he thought Yuki was sick he might even go to such lengths as going to Shigure's after school, which was certainly not what Yuki wanted.

Yuki commanded himself to stop thinking about Haru and what had just happened and go back up to the rooftop. If he stayed in the bathroom much longer his friends might get suspicious. _Although I bet they already are…_ He thought.

Walking back onto the rooftop was an uncomfortable experience, six pairs of eyes locked their gazes onto him instantly. Yuki felt like he was being scrutinised under a microscope.

"What the hell was that, ya damn rat?" it seemed that Kyo's level of curiosity had risen to the point where he deemed it necessary to speak to Yuki.

"Why do you care?" Yuki retaliated, leaning against a wall as casually and calmly as possible, acting completely normal.

"I don't!" Kyo crossed his arms and frowned at the ground.

"Yuki?" _Oh no…_ Haru was walking towards him, "Are you sure you're alright? You do look kind of pale…"

Yuki avoided eye contact with Haru, instead choosing to examine a bit of dirt under his nail as he replied, "I'm fine Haru, there's no need to fuss,"

Haru looked unconvinced, and Yuki was worried he would continue walking towards him, but fortunately Tohru chose that moment to spring up and rush over to Yuki.

"You're not sick are you, Yuki? That would be terrible! You could have another asthma attack!" Tohru stood right in front of the rat and put her hand to his forehead, and he was grateful for the interruption, "Hmmm… You don't seem to have a fever… But are you sure you feel okay?"

"Honestly Miss Honda, I'm perfectly fine,"

Behind Tohru, Yuki could see Haru staring at him, probably searching his face for signs of lying or illness, or maybe both. But what was more alarming than Haru staring at him, was the way that Hana was. She was… _Smiling_. Saki Hanajima was staring directly at Yuki and smiling in a smug way, as if she knew a secret…

Before anyone could say anything else, the bell to signify the end of the lunch break blared from the PA system. Yuki was silently thankful for the return of class.

Everyone else already had their belongings right next to them, so they left before Yuki. Kyo, Tohru, Momiji and Uo left together, but Haru was walking a few steps behind. As he passed Yuki, he deliberately brushed Yuki's hand with his own, and cast him a small worried smile. The skin on skin contact made Yuki jump, but he smiled back anyway, still avoiding direct eye contact.

As Haru left, a slight chuckle sounded behind Yuki, and he turned around to see Hana standing behind him, still staring and smiling. She continued to do so as Yuki walked over to his little pile of belongings and gathered them up.

Yuki whirled around to face her, "Miss Hanajima, why are you-"

"Good luck, Yuki Sohma. But I think you'd find things to be much smoother if you stopped lying to yourself and Hatsuharu," Hana stated, then turned and walked after the others without so much as a single glance back at Yuki.

All of a sudden, Yuki got the feeling that his predicament was far from over yet…

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**A/N. **Sooooo…. What did you think…? Personally, this all seemed _much_ better when I played it out in my head. Ah well, I tried. Thank you to the following for reviewing the second chapter:

**Tuliharja- **Yes well I hope the flashback scenes all work well! Thank you, I'm an amateur writer so it's really encouraging to get positive opinions! Yes well… Did this chapter prove to be more dramatic? XD more to come though!

**Pheonix09- **Cheers! Yes you should, and I shall read and review it!

**mousecat- **I like your positive thinking! Indeed, he is certainly discovering a few new things now isn't he?

**tazatiger1995- **Haha! Thanks, I gather you found Shigure amusing? XD

As per usual, please review! Let me know if you want me to continue, because I mightn't bother if people don't want anymore of it.

But thanks for reading again! ^.^


	4. The Badminton Incident

**A/N. **The fourth chapter has arrived! Ta da!

Disclaimer: You should know what I'm going to say by now. I don't own any of Fruits Basket's characters, names, titles, plots etc.

Warnings: Exactly the same stuff I warned you about three times already: boy on boy (aka Yaoi) and mentions of past child abuse, very mild and infrequent bad language.

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**Chapter Four**

His plan had been to avoid Haru as much as possible; to just let his little irrational crush slowly die out, and focus primarily on school and studying for his final exams. But over the fortnight after the incident on the rooftop, Yuki found that sometimes things really were easier said than done.

Every school day he saw Haru at recess and lunch, and every recess and lunch he always had to sit right next to Haru, because the ox persisted in being as close to Yuki as possible, no matter how many times the rat shuffled away.

And then there were the days that Momiji and Tohru would insist upon everyone joining in for some kind of 'fun' group activity of their choice, where Yuki would be forced to spend more time with Haru and put up with the intimacy that the younger teen always created by staying so close to Yuki.

It was becoming agonising for Yuki. Because now that he had realised his feelings for Haru existed, the thought was constantly running through his head, whether it was what he was actively pondering at the time or it was lingering in the back of his mind. And so every time Haru's hand brushed Yuki's as he passed him something, Yuki noticed the way the nerves in his skin would begin to tingle. And every time Haru smiled directly at him, Yuki would notice the way his heart seemed to skip a beat. Although if he was honest with himself those things had been happening for a little while now, but he had been ignoring them all until recently.

And Yuki could not help but notice the way Hana kept glancing at him and smiling in a knowing way when any of those things happened, and it was beginning to make him feel more and more anxious.

After that fortnight had passed Yuki didn't think his crush would become any more intense, and he figured that it would begin to fade soon enough as long as he continued to ignore it. In fact, he was just reminding himself of that as he, Tohru and Kyo made their way to the school badminton court to meet Hana, Uo, Momiji and Haru. It was a Saturday and the court was open to the public.

Several days earlier four of the teens had gotten into a rather heated match; Yuki and Uo versus Haru and Kyo. Uo and Haru had been unable to stay long enough for a winner to be declared, so they had all agreed to a rematch on the weekend. Momiji, Hana and Tohru were going to be social and to watch what would most likely be an interesting game.

By the time the trio arrived, Uo and Hana were already there waiting for them. As soon as they got close enough, Uo immediately began winding Kyo up. She had learnt that a game where 'Orange Top' was edgy and aggravated tended to be more entertaining for her.

It wasn't much longer until Haru and Momiji arrived; the rabbit carrying a bag of lollipops in his arms that he had brought to share with everyone.

No one bothered with proper lengthy greetings, by now Uo and Kyo were overly eager to get into the game, both convinced that they would beat the other. Kyo was especially driven to win, as it would mean a victory against both Uo and his rival the rat. So at their impatient insistence, Yuki and Haru joined the competitive pair on the court and the game began.

For a while the match ran smoothly, or as smoothly as a game where Kyo was pitched against both Yuki and Uo could be. Yuki was putting all of his concentration into the game, not even allowing himself to look at Haru unless he was forced too. And he was successful in doing so, until Haru decided that it was just too hot to remain fully clothed.

He didn't even take anything off completely, all Haru did was undo the buttons on his shirt. But still, now that his shirt was hanging open, Yuki couldn't help but stare. All of his attention immediately went to the suddenly exposed curves that defined the toned muscles of Haru's chest and abdomen. He looked gorgeous. And as far as Yuki was concerned, he looked a bit sexy too. He had the strongest urge to just run over there and touch those muscles with his own bare hands. All of his attention was now centered on Haru and most definitely not on the badminton match.

In fact the teen was so caught up in admiring his cousin's able-bodied physique that he hadn't even realised the game was being continued and that Kyo had already served the shuttlecock to him.

"Hey, Prince!" Yuki was snapped back into reality by the sound of Uo calling to him, "Heads up!"

Yuki looked up just in time to see the shuttlecock heading straight towards him, slowly realising that he was required to hit it back or else it would be the other team's point. He attempted to leap forward and hit the shuttlecock, but unfortunately his mind was still a million miles away, thinking of things that were completely irrelevant to badminton and he was not paying proper attention to exactly what he was doing. Thus, Yuki managed to stumble and trip over the perfectly flat surface of the badminton court.

For a moment Yuki didn't fully register that he was falling, but then he realised that he was indeed on a collision course headed straight towards the ground. He dropped his racquet, threw his hands out, closed his eyes and braced himself for the fall. But when he was only halfway to the ground, Yuki felt something, or rather someone, grab onto his shoulders. He opened his eyes to see that Haru had abandoned his side of the court and his racquet and was making a futile attempt to catch him.

Unfortunately Haru had not been quick enough and Yuki just fell straight into him, instinctively grabbing onto the younger teen and consequently pulling him down too. Realising that he was still falling, Yuki closed his eyes again and clutched Haru tightly without even thinking about what he was doing.

With a thud accompanied by a grunt of pain from Haru and a gasp from Yuki, the pair hit the ground together.

"Huh," Uo huffed, "I guess the Prince isn't so graceful after all,"

"Yuki! Hatsuharu!" Tohru cried as she ran over to the boys, "Are you alright?"

Yuki heard the voices of his friends somewhere in the background, but he didn't quite comprehend what they were saying. He was far too distracted by his current situation and the sight that was before him.

At some point during their rapid descent to the ground, Haru had managed to position himself so that he would take the full force of the fall and give Yuki something soft to land on: himself. This meant that Yuki was now lying on top of a half shirtless Haru. Lying on top of him with his arms wrapped around his bare, hard chest…

All his feelings for Haru that he had kept locked away came surging up all at once; even stronger than before; now accompanied by a strong feeling of lust. He couldn't help himself. The flesh that was being bared right in front of him was too flawless, too inviting for Yuki to ignore. Acting on impulse, he tightened his grip on Haru and brought his face closer to his cousin's chest…

"Yuki, Are you alri-_Ah_!" Haru's words were lost in the sudden in take of breath he took when he felt Yuki's lips press against his chest. If Haru didn't know better, he would say that it was almost as though the older boy was… kissing his chest… Although he dismissed such wishful thinking immediately because he knew his cousin would never do something like that. But no matter what it was that Yuki was doing exactly, Haru had to admit, it really felt quite nice.

However, the moan that came from Yuki broke the temporary bliss Haru had been enjoying at the feeling of his first love pressed up against his own body, even though the back of his head throbbed where it had collided with the ground.

"Yuki!" Haru sat up and gripped the older teen's shoulders, hoisting him up so that he could see if he was at all injured, "What's wrong? Are you hurt?"

Yuki slowly and hesitantly looked up at Haru and the ox was taken aback by his expression. There was something in his face that he had never seen the rat display before. It was so unlike Yuki that Haru couldn't be sure, but he could almost swear that the emotion that was etched into his beautiful features was _lust._ Stranger still was the way Yuki was looking at Haru, it was as though the sight of the white haired boy was causing him both pain and joy simultaneously.

"What the hell are you doing, girly-boy?" Kyo suddenly spat, causing Yuki and Haru to flinch. Both boys had somewhat forgotten that they weren't alone together.

As if he had been woken from a trance of some sort, Yuki suddenly gasped and stood up abruptly, taking several steps backs; like he was trying to get away from Haru.

"Are you both alright?" Tohru exclaimed, carefully helping Haru get to his feet, "Hatsuharu, did you hit your head?"

"Yeah, I'm fine though," Haru mumbled as he rubbed the sore spot on his head, "No blood,"

"I'm not so sure it's him you oughta be worrying about, Tohru," Uo said, "The Prince looks likes he's about to either throw up or pass out…"

All eyes went to Yuki again.

He was standing very still, staring at a fixed point on the ground, his face slightly pale and his hands curled into fists at his sides.

"Yeah…" Momiji said, his bag of lollipops long since forgotten, "Yuki? Are you hurt?"

Haru watched as Yuki took one long, deep breath before turning to answer Momiji, "No, Momiji. I'm fine," his eyes flitted up to Haru's for a split second, then he snapped them back to the ground again, "But I don't feel like playing badminton anymore I'm afraid, I think I'll just go home…" Yuki's voice had a wistful, faraway tone to it; like he was there, but somewhere else completely.

"What!" Kyo's loud voice penetrated the silence in the air, "Like Hell you will! We've got a game to finish here!"

Perhaps what shocked everyone the most that day was the way Yuki responded to Kyo. He didn't strike him, or insult him, or even retaliate with a witty comeback, he just walked away and sighed, "I'm sorry Kyo, some other time perhaps..." as though he just didn't have the energy to quarrel with his hot headed cousin.

For a moment, everyone just stood still in a state of confusion as Yuki walked away from the badminton court. He had actually apologised to Kyo, and it hadn't sounded at all sarcastic… Something was wrong, and Haru was worried about him.

The ox began to walk after the rat, but he had barely taken three steps when an eerily calm voice came from behind them all, "Hatsuharu, it would probably be best if you did not attempt to follow Yuki. Your presence would only further disturb him at the moment," it was Hana.

Up until that point she had been so quiet, sitting on the sidelines and observing everything that the others had almost forgotten she was even there.

Haru began to protest, "But he-"

"Trust me, it's best that we all give him some space, he needs time to think," she stood up smoothly but abruptly, "Well, now that the fun is over I suppose I should leave now as well, I will see you all at school on Monday," and without another word, she left.

"Time to think…?" Haru mused aloud to himself.

_Time to think about what?_

_

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_

**A/N. **Opinions please! This is another chapter that just seemed to work out better in my mind… Blah. I want to hear what you guys think! Thank you for the reviews from:

**Tuliharja- **Hmm? Are you asking how old I am or something? If so, that's written on my profile! If that's not what you meant… Then I'm just confused! Ha, yeah there are a lot of fics like that. Maybe because it seems likely that if Yuki did discover that he had such feelings, he really would start panicking (whether Haru was his cousin or not). Yes indeed, life in the Zodiac is hard!

**tazatiger1995- **Glad you like it! Haha, yes she does! She and her psychic powers of awesome! XD

**Pheonix09- **Thanks! Happy to hear you're enjoying it then.

**Salamander1701- **Thank you very much! I'll keep updating as long as you guys keep reviewing!

**mousecat- **Indeed she does! Haha! I agree with you! Haru most definitely wouldn't mind! XD

**yukixharuyaoi- **Woo! Yay you're back! Haha, glad to hear you're enjoying the story that I'm writing mostly for you! You're not crazy! You're just a Yaoi Fangirl! XD

Reviews please! Should I continue? Should I abandon all hope and discontinue this story? Lemme know! Especially since I go back to school next week, so if no one wants this story to be continued I shan't bother taking the time to write it when I could be doing my homework. Homework... Bleaugh! Something I certainly have **not **missed over the 8 week holiday...

Thanks for reading! ^.^


	5. Memories of a Friendship

**A/N. **Chapter five has arrived! Hey, that kinda rhymed didn't it? I was planning on uploading sooner, but then a visit to my Grandparents and a Lord of the Rings marathon got in the way.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of Fruits Basket's characters, names, titles, plots etc.

Warnings: Yet again: boy on boy (aka Yaoi) and mentions of past child abuse (in this chapter actually), very mild and infrequent bad language.

* * *

**Chapter Five**

_You complete and utter fool,_ Yuki chastised himself as he hastily left the badminton court and made his way back to Shigure's.

_Avoid Haru; distance yourself from him. That was the plan. Not, lie on top of him and kiss him!_

He kicked the first thing he saw, an empty can, out of frustration as hard as he could, sending it flying.

That was how he was for the entire walk home. Repeatedly rambling and scolding himself mentally whilst kicking any and all inanimate objects that dared to get in his way.

Once Yuki arrived at Shigure's, he kicked his shoes off fiercely and began cursing them for making him trip over himself at the badminton match. The two distinct thudding noises the shoes made when they collided with the wall attracted Shigure's attention.

The dog walked out of the kitchen with his trademark fan in hand, "Ah Yuki! Why are you home so early? And where are the others?" a glance at his younger cousins face and his smile twisted into a frown, "And why do you seem so-"

"Do not ask," Yuki all but snarled as he shoved his way past Shigure and ascended the stairs to his room. He was in no mood to even come up with any sort of excuse whatsoever.

The teen slammed his bedroom door shut, slumped down onto his bed, buried his face into his pillow and tried to figure out exactly what had him so worked up over the incident. Of course it had been anything but ideal, but really, Yuki's level of agitation was surprising even to him.

When he had left the others at the court, he hadn't really felt angry, more so just completely detached from the situation. The only thought going through his mind had been to leave immediately before anything else happened. But walking back by himself had given him the time of day to relay what had just happened through his mind, and he had become angry.

So what was it that had aggravated him so terribly?

When it came right down to it, Yuki figured that the thing he was most mad at was the person he saw in the mirror. He was mad at himself.

Mad at himself for displaying such an outright lack of self-control. He should have been able to think rationally. And he should _not _have allowed himself to… to… _kiss_ Haru, no matter where it was. He had even let a moan escape his lips, one he desperately hoped Haru had mistaken for a moan of pain or discomfort and not pleasure…

He was failing completely at relinquishing his continually flourishing feelings for his cousin.

But that wasn't it. It couldn't be. It was certainly enough of a reason to make Yuki very angry, but it didn't account for all of his frustration. So what else was infuriating Yuki?

The answer was right there; nagging away at him in the back of his mind. He had refused to listen to the idea earlier, but it seemed to be the only solution now.

He was mad because he had been unable to remain embracing Haru while he continued to plant kisses on the younger teen's chest. It seemed almost unbelievable to Yuki now that he had been so content there. Just for a moment, he had forgotten that the others were standing there staring, and he had completely overlooked the pain in his neck that had been caused by the fall. For a fleeting moment he had forgotten everything and simply indulged in the comfort of his place pressed close to Haru. He couldn't remember any other time when he had felt so blissful. Even if he had only felt that way for no more than 10 seconds.

_Imagine how satisfied you would've felt if you'd been with him alone like that for hours on end._

There it was again; that little voice in his head, the one that had been whispering things about Haru ever since that day on the rooftop. Things that made Yuki shiver… He was glad that he could at least recognise the voice as his own. He imagined it was so much worse for Haru when Black started whispering things in his head.

Yuki remembered Haru telling him that once. That sometimes Black and White would both be thinking individually before Haru lost himself to his darker side. Yuki remembered it well. Haru had saved him from falling straight to the ground that day too. Although technically speaking, it had been Black Haru…

_It had only been a few weeks after Haru had stayed and talked with Yuki for hours that the older boy found himself sitting on the edge of a verandah, staring into the carp pond below his small, dangling legs, the red mark from his Mother's slap still raw on his pale cheek. Though it may seem a strange analogy, Yuki sometimes felt he could relate to the mesmerising fish swimming below. _

_They were free to go wherever they wished in their little expanse of water, but never to leave the pond itself. Freedom within captivity. It wasn't real freedom but merely an illusion of the concept._

_Yuki sighed to himself and continued to watch his favourite fish swim merrily in the water. It was a red carp with a white head, fins and tail. Yuki didn't know their real names, if they even had any, but at one point or another he had begun to name the carp. His favourite was called Mikuko._

_Leaning down closer to the water, precariously on the edge, he reached his hand down into the cool liquid, so that only the tips of his fingers were submerged. He smiled when the carp began nibbling away at his fingers experimentally._

_He was so busy concentrating on his little companions that he didn't even notice a very cross looking Haru storm his way onto the verandah and place himself just a few metres behind Yuki._

"_What the hell are you doing?" he snapped suddenly. _

_The white haired boy gave Yuki such a fright that he flinched hard enough to slip over the edge of the verandah. Preparing himself to be met with a very cold and wet landing, Yuki was shocked again when he found himself being lifted up and then plopped back onto the verandah. _

_Yuki looked up to see Haru returning to a very mad looking stance. He had his arms crossed tightly across his chest and a deep scowl plastered on his face. Yuki recognised him straight away. Black Haru._

"_Be more careful next time, Rat," Haru wasn't even looking at Yuki, choosing instead to glare at a tree nearby, "Otherwise I might not be here to catch you when you slip up again,"_

_Though his words weren't overly vicious they were still spoken sharply, sharp enough to sting Yuki. He didn't like it at all when Black Haru spoke to him that way. It was almost as bad as being yelled at by Akito, because it hurt more when it was someone you actually cared about._

"_Are you even listening to me! I said…" Yuki saw the way Haru's gaze sharpened as soon as he looked at the older boy and his eyes locked onto the angry red mark that marred his usually soft features._

_If Haru had looked angry before, now he looked completely furious._

"_Who the Hell did that to you!" he leaned closer to Yuki in a slightly threatening pose, "Tell me who did it, now! I'll beat the crap outta them! I swear!" Yuki was becoming afraid now, and he didn't think it was wise to tell Haru it was his Mother who had struck him, "Tell me now!"_

_Those last words were yelled straight at Yuki's face. Black Haru had reasonable intentions, he was only mad because someone had hurt Yuki. He probably thought he was doing his cousin a favour by threatening to physically harm the culprit. But Yuki couldn't help it, Black Haru was just too frightening and intimidating for an abused little boy who was already on the verge of tears._

_A whimper escaped his small, frail body and he began to shake with the sobs he was trying to muffle against his arm._

_Though Yuki didn't see the transformation, he heard the distinct change in Haru's voice when the younger boy spoke again, "Yuki… Are you okay? What happened, what did Black do?" it was White Haru now, and he was approaching Yuki as though he was a frightened animal, "I'm sorry… Please forgive me…?"_

_Haru was pleading for forgiveness, it only saddened Yuki further and one great, big loud sob escaped him. And what happened next surprised Yuki._

_Haru didn't tell him to stop crying in such a pathetic manner, he didn't yell at him or just leave Yuki to cry alone like everyone else did. Instead, in one swift motion, Haru dropped down onto his knees and wrapped his arms around Yuki, pulling the older but smaller boy close to him._

_At first Yuki flinched at the contact, he wasn't used to being handled with such care and affection and he had assumed Haru was going to strike him, "W-what are you doing?" he stammered._

"_Hugging you," was Haru's monotonous reply. _

"_But… But why? Why do you care if I'm sad?" Haru physically flinched as Yuki said that, as though he was shocked that his older cousin didn't think he would care at all._

"_Because you're my friend, Yuki. My best friend. And best friends care about each other, right?" Haru leaned back and smiled reassuringly at his cousin._

"_R-right… Thank you…" Yuki tried to calm himself. He was crying, showing weakness. He wasn't supposed to do that. He was punished for it usually._

_Haru must have noticed the way Yuki was desperately trying to stop the tears, "Yuki," he looked him straight in the eye, "It's okay to cry when you feel sad. Crying helps to get rid of the bad feelings you build up inside. It helps you feel better,"_

_Yuki studied Haru's face. For a boy of his age, he was rather wise and very kind._

"_It doesn't annoy you when I cry? You're not mad?"_

_Haru frowned, "No, why would I be?" Yuki didn't answer him, he only buried his face in his white haired cousin's shoulder and returned the hug, "Yuki, what happened to your face? Really?"_

_He felt Yuki wince in his arms as the red mark on his face was mentioned again, "Could we talk about something else Haru, please?"_

"_Oh, okay... What do you want to talk about?"_

_Yuki thought for a moment before saying, "What's it like when Black comes?" he was curious about his cousin's unique personality issue._

_Haru was momentarily taken aback, he hadn't been expecting a question about his split personalities, "It's… Well it's bad, really bad. It's like I can feel myself getting angrier and angrier, and then sometimes he starts telling me things, angry bad things,"_

"_Black talks to you?"_

"_Only sometimes. Mostly, he just comes and takes over. And then it's kind of like a bad dream, a nightmare. I sort of know what I'm doing, I can see some of it, but I don't have any control," he paused and sighed, "And when it's over it's like I'm waking up and then I can only remember bits of my nightmare…"_

"_It must be awful to have an angry voice in your head…"_

"_Yeah, I guess it is. But it helps me when I talk about it sometimes. You know, you can talk to me about your problems too Yuki, anytime you want. I don't mind,"_

_Yuki slowly leaned back and studied Haru's face again. As far as he could tell he really was being honest, Yuki couldn't find a single trace of lies or deception in his features._

"_And not just if you're sad, if you're afraid or angry too," he was smiling at Yuki encouragingly, "Talking's another way to get rid of the bad feelings, so you can be honest about how you really feel!"_

"_Thank you Haru…" Yuki didn't really know what else to say, he wasn't used to being shown such kindness. No one else had ever been this nice to him; especially when he was crying. And it made Yuki happy, so happy. _

_Because he had a friend that would listen to him, give him a shoulder to cry on. A friend who could brighten up his day just by being there._

It was another bittersweet memory.

But that day Yuki had realised he had a true friend, a fantastic friend who honestly cared for him. For the first time in his life, Yuki had truly felt loved. And for once in his life, he hadn't felt completely alone, because he knew he had someone to turn to when things got bad.

No wonder it was Haru he was falling for.

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**A/N. **This is one of my favourite chapters out of the ones that have been uploaded. I'm not entirely sure why… Maybe it's the interaction between Little Haru and Little Yuki! They're just so cute in my mind's eye! Thanks to these people for reviewing the last chapter:

**Tuliharja- **Ah *facepalms* that makes sense. I definitely consider myself an amateur writer. I've never had any writing classes or anything, just the usual English lessons and this story is my first 'proper' story other than my one-shots. I don't have a beta either, I just read and re-read til I think it's acceptable. Ha, well if you don't want me to discontinue this then I shall make sure I find time to keep writing it! Hmm, you think so? I didn't realise… Silly me! Yes he is! Haru's also VERY cute when he tugs on Yuki's shirt! Haha it would be!

**Salamander1701- **Wow, three pleases? I will keep updating then! Well if that's your only complaint then I must be doing my 'job' correctly! XD

**Pheonix09- **Why thank you! Dude… you totally read my mind! That IS what's going to happen in a future chapter! After one or two other events of course… :)

**tahira- **Thanks! Glad to know you like it! Haha yes of course he would! In fact, he did!

**mousecat- **Ha yes it's one of my favourites too! I used to play badminton, and then when they played it on Fruits Basket I got totally excited and felt slightly awesome. Ah yes, there will be a Black Haru appearance in a couple of chapters time… And it may put some strain on the relationship between our beloved Sohma boys… Indeed, Hana knows exactly what's going but she's just watching to see how it all turns out! XD

**yukixharuyaoi- **XD *joins in happy dance* yes he did! Haha I've had to do that before too! Hopefully by the end of this story I'll have you screaming and giggling so much your family thinks you're totally insane! Just kidding XD

Reviews are my food, my water, my air and my… something else that I can't live without! So tell me what you all think! Do ya want some more?

Oh noes… I go back to school the day after tomorrow O.o is anyone else going back to/already is back at school? Sucks, don't it? .

Thank you for reading! ^.^


	6. Love Hurts and Cousins are Troublesome

**A/N. **Chapter six, wherein Shigure sticks his nose into someone else's business!...Meh, this is probably my least favourite chapter so far… Or something like that :P

Disclaimer: Again, I deny ownership of Fruits Basket's characters, names, titles, plots etc.

Warnings: Same stuff. Boy on boy (aka Yaoi) and mentions of past child abuse, very mild and infrequent bad language.

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**Chapter Six**

Yuki had heard it been said before that sometimes love hurts.

He remembered thinking the concept completely ridiculous as a child. He knew that plenty of things in life could and would hurt you, but he had always perceived the idea of love as truly pure and safe. He knew now that his younger self had been wrong.

In Yuki's case, love was painful because he was afraid of the possible consequences, and because he couldn't tell anyone about the emotion that was beginning to swell up inside him. To not be able to talk to anyone about it… well it made him feel a bit lost and lonely.

But he was beginning to actually properly admit it to himself; he didn't just like Haru, he loved him. The question was though, how much did he love him?

Were his feelings just a confusing mixture of family affection and a physical attraction caused by one of the simplest and most complex of things; teenage lust? In which case, his original plan of letting his infatuation with his cousin die out would remain a conceivable idea. But was it more than that? Did Yuki truly love Haru? If that was the case, then his heart's attachment to the younger teen would be unlikely to sway for quite some time.

But these feelings provoked another question; did all this mean Yuki was gay? Or bi-sexual? Or was Haru just an exception to his usual sexual preferences? It was extremely hard to distinguish such things when you were like Yuki Sohma; almost completely inexperienced with both sexes.

And it was enough of a pandemonium to make Yuki's head throb.

It had been two weeks since what he now referred to as 'The Badminton Incident' (thankfully no one had really bothered him too much about that), and Yuki had managed to keep a hold of himself throughout that period of time.

He still felt the same things when Haru sat too close or brushed his skin over his, but the rat had learnt to keep his guard up at all times. But even though he kept his thoughts to himself, Yuki's inner turmoil was beginning to show on the outside. He knew this to be the case when Shigure started questioning him.

He was sitting under the heater reading a novel for his English class by himself, a whole array of things that had absolutely nothing to do with his assignment whirring through his head, when Shigure came into the room with a mischevious expression on his face and sat down across from his younger cousin.

Yuki glanced up from his book to see Shigure watching him, his elbows on the table and his chin in his hands. Without properly acknowledging the dog, Yuki returned his attention to the story he was supposed to be studying with every intention of ignoring the man who was staring at him pointedly.

But eventually the teen became annoyed with being watched in such a blatantly obvious manner. So without looking up from the novel, he asked, "Can I help you with something, Shigure?"

"Hmmm, perhaps you can, Yuki," Shigure sat up straighter once he had finally been addressed by the rat, "Could you start by looking at me?"

With an exasperated sigh, Yuki closed the book and looked up at his older cousin, "Yes?'

"I'm curious Yuki... tell me what's been bothering you so much these past few weeks,"

Yuki immediately stiffened up, undeniably confirming Shigure's suspicion that something was amiss. He hadn't realised that he had slipped up and allowed his cousin, or anyone for that matter, to see his emotional disarray.

Either way, Shigure was not exactly someone Yuki wanted to talk to about such things, "I don't know what you mean," he asserted in as calm a voice as he could manage.

"Oh come on Yuki, you can't lie to me! You've been moping around this house with such a depressed atmosphere about you, I can tell something's up," Yuki frowned slightly at his words, "After all, I am a spectacular novelist; a professional at analysing the human character!"

Yuki was still frowning. He hadn't been moping around the house, had he? Maybe the dog was just making it up, it was possible…

"What do you mean, moping? I'm perfectly fine Shigure," he picked his book up again and reopened it, hoping that his cousin would take the hint that the conversation was now over and leave him alone.

"Oh but Yuki, that's not what my highly refined senses are telling me!" when Yuki didn't reply, his voice took on the marginally serious tone that he rarely used, "Yuki, look at me," his younger cousin obliged, if only for the tone in his voice, "You really do seem like something's been bothering you quite a bit. Naturally, as your cousin and legal guardian, I'm worried,"

"Well you don't have to worry Shigure,"

"Ah come on Yuki! Trust me. I know all too well that the Sohma family isn't a very supportive bunch when it comes to things like love and-"

The rat's head snapped up at the l word and a panicked expression flashed across his face, "Love! Who said anything about love? How did you…" Yuki nearly gasped. Could Shigure seriously see right through him like that? He had thought he had been keeping his feelings very well hidden…

Shigure looked almost as shocked as Yuki did, "Well I was going to go on to list several other things the Sohmas don't encourage but it seems I've hit the nail right on the head already!"

Yuki blanched. He had given himself away by reacting so exuberantly. Inwardly, he cursed himself for another lapse in self-control. He didn't really know what to say now, it seemed to be too little too late to deny it now. He hung his head in an attempt to hide the blush he could feel forming on his cheeks. No matter how good he was at hiding his emotions, he could do nothing about the red tinge of embarrassment on his face.

"Ah! So, could it be that young Yuki has found love! I see how this could be a problem with the Sohmas, but don't worry about it! I'm sure it'll all work out. I could even help you!"

Yuki was left speechless again. Shigure was being so… so… _Nice. _He wasn't teasing and taunting Yuki at all, he was even offering to help him! _The way everything seems to be changing right now, next thing you know Kyo is going to want to be my best friend forever…_ The thought might have made him laugh if he wasn't still completely tongue tied. But either way, it was such a lonely feeling to not tell anyone about what was happening. Surely it couldn't hurt to try…

"Are… are you serious Shigure? You want to help me?"

"Of course! I'm always glad to help a love-struck Sohma," Shigure himself looked to be excited by the prospect.

"But… why?"

"Oh come one Yuki! We're family and we're in the Zodiac! We've all got to stick together, right?"

Yuki still didn't know what to say. It was so… _strange _to see Shigure acting so seriously generous (or at least he _seemed _to be serious). It didn't happen often, and in this particular situation it just made Yuki feel awkward, even though he was thankful for the offer.

Perhaps Shigure sensed the rat's discomfort at his uncharacteristic seriousness, or maybe he just got bored of it, because then he announced in his usual cheery voice, "Besides, you lovebirds give me inspiration for my magnificent novels!" he grinned at Yuki, "So, who's the lucky lady then? Is it a girl from school?"

"Um…" no matter how much he might appreciate Shigure's rare advice and encouragement, he did not want him to know that his crush was Haru, there was simply no way the dog would miss the opportunity to tease Yuki about having a gay attraction towards his cousin, "Well, we aren't actually together…"

"Oh?"

"Well, I just haven't told them… But even if I could… I mean, I _could_ but I don't think that I-"

"How about you start by telling me who it is?"

"I'd rather not…" Yuki was suddenly regretting telling Shigure anything at all.

"Why not? Do I know them?" the dog's eyes were getting wider, he seemed to be finding this situation more and more interesting.

"No…" he wondered whether or not it would be wise to just outright lie and say it was one of his fan club members or some other girl from Kaibara High. It would probably be better than letting Shigure assume all manner of insane possibilities...

"Ah but your face tells me otherwise," Shigure suddenly sat up a lot straighter and his face lit up as though he was experiencing an epiphany, "Yuki, do you mean to tell me that you are in love with our precious flower Tohru!"

"_What?"_ this was a terrible misunderstanding, "No! Of course not! And who said anything about being _in love._ I mean, I don't… I can't tell if I…" Yuki cursed at himself mentally again. Since when was he so easy to read and since when did he trip over his words so clumsily? Oh right, since his heart decided to develop rather strong affections for a certain person. He refused to use the term 'in love'. Not until he sure...

"Okay… So it's not Tohru and you're not sure of your feelings for this person exactly, am I correct thus far?" Yuki only nodded shyly in response and Shigure chuckled, "Oh the dramas of teenage life, how I miss such excitement! Well then, is it possible that you have feelings for one of Tohru's friends: Miss Saki Hanajima or Miss Arisa Uotani perhaps?"

"_No!"_ this was not going well as far as Yuki was concerned, and he didn't like the way Shigure was pressing for information, "Those two options are even more unlikely than your first guess!"

"Alright, so I was wrong. But Yuki, all things considered, I feel inclined to ask; is it actually a girl?"

"_Shigure!"_ Yuki stood up abruptly. His cousin was getting far too close to the truth of the matter for his liking, even if he was only trying to taunt him, "You're being even less than unhelpful now!"

"I'm sorry, I know but… You didn't deny it!" the jovial, humourous tone in his voice had without a doubt returned.

Yuki didn't even bother to comment on his remark, "I just remembered that I need to tend to my garden this evening," he gathered up his English books, scowled at the dog and mumbled sarcastically, "Thanks for the 'talk'"

"Anytime Yuki, anytime!" Shigure was chuckling again. It seemed he thought that as soon as he found out the reason for Yuki's peril was nothing more than some teenage romance issues, he was immediately given the right to tease him.

As he walked out of the room the teen shot back over his shoulder, "Oh, by the way, if you mention anything about this to Ayame I will not be held responsible for the consequences,"

Yuki left behind his giggling older (but certainly no more mature) cousin and headed towards the stairs to put his books in his room and get his gardening gear. He hadn't been lying; he really did need to tend to his garden, only he had been planning on doing it after he read the next chapter of his book for English. He also hadn't been lying about what he said to Shigure about informing Ayame of any of this. His brother would no doubt make his life a living Hell for it. And it would be even worse if he told Akito…

As he turned around and onto the first step, Yuki was given quite a shock when he nearly stepped right on a mildly hysterical Kyo, who was sitting on the bottom steps chuckling away to himself.

"What are you laughing about, stupid cat?" Yuki spat as he walked past.

"Oh nothing, lover-boy," Kyo jeered as he snickered away, much to Yuki's chagrin.

_Oh how fantastic, the stupid cat must have overheard the whole thing. I knew there was a reason I never tried to tell anyone about this before…_

Resisting the urge to kick his infuriating, orange-haired cousin off the stairs or at least come up with some kind of retort, Yuki continued to his bedroom. His only goal now was to get out of the house, away from his troublesome cousins and into his 'Secret Base'; where he could be by himself and relax without any annoying laughter from the cat or the dog piercing his ears.

Scolding himself just as he had just a fortnight earlier, Yuki gathered his gardening equipment, told Tohru where he was going (thank God at least _she _hadn't overhead his conversation with Shigure) and left.

So now Shigure and Kyo both knew there was a change in his love-life and neither was likely to forget about it, one of them would undoubtedly inform Tohru as well. All three of Yuki's housemates knew the person he had developed feelings for so if either one figured out that it was Haru and told him… it would be a complete disaster. There was also the possibility that Shigure would tell Ayame everything he knew even though Yuki had asked him not to. There was also the possibility that Shigure would be heartless enough to tell Akito...

_Why do I get the feeling that what I just did was a horrendous mistake…?_

_

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**A/N. **GAH! I'm sorry for this lowly piece of writing. I'm afraid I don't particularly like this chapter after the first couple of paragraphs… I don't think I'm very good at writing conversations between characters. Tis probably my weak-point. Perhaps it's all just a bit too OOC… Oh well, we'll all just have to get over it and look forward to better chapters with more yaoi angst and action! :P

Guess who comes over in the next chapter! Go on, guess! I'll give you some hints: His name starts with H, he's smexy, he has two toned hair… Yeah you know who I'm talking about! He shall be appearing more from the next chapter onwards! Which, personally, I think is an improvement! XD Thanks for the reviews:

**Tuliharja- **Hmm, yes I think I'll try and do some writing classes if I get the chance! Yeah I hate it when authors stop writing a story too! But seeing as there are several people who seem to be liking my story thus far, I shall continue! Thank you! I always worry that I'm making the characters too OOC so I'm really pleased that you thought Yuki's reaction was realistic! But I apologise in advance if that happens later on, as I think it probably did in this chapter. Yes that's a big part of it I think, Yuki doesn't want to lose his first friend! Thanks! Ah things will get better for him eventually, although they may get worse beforehand…

**makoto4ever- **Oh? More you say? Well then more you shall get! XD oh they'll get together eventually, but I insist upon putting them through some emotional turmoil first, it's more interesting that way! Haha!

**tahira- **Thanks! I thought it was sweet too! As I was writing it I was playing the scene out in my mind and I was like: "Aaaawwww! That's so cute! I'd draw it if I was any good at art" :P

**Pheonix09- **Ah you misunderstand me, I call anyone and everyone dude, regardless of gender. Me and all my female-friends do it all the time XD Glad you're enjoying it! ^.^

**Salamander1701- **Thank you! If you like Little-Haru/Little-Yuki flashbacks, then you've got a little something-something to look forward to!

**yukixharuyaoi- **Hehehe, you like? The flashbacks of them when they're little are totally my favourite parts! XD you may have to wait a little, but eventually I will turn you into a giggling, blushing pile of fangirl goo with this story somehow! Haha!

**mousecat- **Indeed he is, just the way I want him to be! For now anyway… Thanks! Exactly, that's the point of the flashback scenes really; to show where the foundations of their relationship started and how Haru is always there for him and all that. ^.^

Reviiieeeeeew…. That is all.

Oh and btw, do you guys think Shigure should tell Akito or Ayame what he knows now to add some extra drama/plot? I'm leaning towards definitely for Akito and maybe for Ayame… but let me know what your opinion is!

Thank ya for reading! ^.^


	7. Salt in the Wound

**A/N. **Chapter seven! Holy crap… This is the longest chapter so far! :O

But it's worth it because… HARU!

If you don't like slight OOCness then you may or may not like this chapter too much. Depends on what your definition of OOC is for each character I suppose. That is all.

Disclaimer: Must I say it again? I don't anything from Fruits Basket…. Blardy blardy blar.

Warnings: Same ol same ol. Boy on boy (aka Yaoi) and mentions of past child abuse, very mild and infrequent bad language.

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**Chapter Seven**

Contrary to popular belief, Hatsuharu Sohma was not stupid.

Admittedly, sometimes he could be a bit slow, he had a terrible sense of direction and he tended to exude a very vacant and monotonous air about him. But he was _not _stupid.

Therefore it was not lost upon the ox that something was obviously bothering Yuki. And for some reason the rat was avoiding him as much as possible without letting anyone realise (which had failed, evidently). Although as to whether the two issues were linked, Haru wasn't sure. But he certainly hoped not…

So unbeknownst to Yuki, while the rat was quarrelling with his cousins and making his escape to the Secret Base, Haru was biking his way over to Shigure's house.

He was going there because someone in his class had found a History book that belonged to Yuki, so the student had passed it on to Haru because he assumed the white haired boy would be able to return it to the Prince.

Haru was glad for the excuse to go and see him outside of school. He would finally be able to ask Yuki what had been bothering him recently and why he seemed to be avoiding Haru. And it would be just the two of them, so the older boy would find it difficult to come up with some kind of excuse to do with classes or avoiding the question completely by striking up a conversation with someone else as he had done almost every time the ox had attempted to converse with him over the past few weeks.

So Haru had gone home, changed into casual clothes, grabbed his bicycle and left for Shigure's house. He would've made it there in time to see Yuki before he left, had he not gotten _slightly_ lost on his way over… several times...

At any rate, when he arrived at the house he saw Kyo exercising by himself in the yard with a rather humourous expression on his face, one that Haru did not want to question. The cat saw him but made no attempt to greet him.

When the ox went inside, he found Tohru in the kitchen, flitting around the room preparing some kind of meal for the Sohma men. Shigure was leaning against the bench with his arms crossed, giving half of his attention to Tohru, and the other half to whatever it was that was causing him to look so thoughtful and amused.

"Oh, Hatsuharu!" Tohru exclaimed when she saw him standing in the kitchen doorway, "Hi!"

"Ah, Haru," Shigure snapped out of his daydreaming and smiled at his younger cousin, "Welcome! To what do we owe the pleasure of your company?"

"Hello," Haru pulled the small History book out of the large pocket of his trademark white coat, "Yuki left this at school; I came here to return it to him,"

"You came all this way just to return Yuki's book to him? How thoughtful!" Tohru beamed at him.

"Tohru, there's no need to be so amazed. It isn't really that far from here to the Sohma house," Shigure chuckled a little at the onigiri's blissful naivety.

"Are you staying for dinner? Oh! I'd better put more rice on the stove for you!" Tohru rushed over to the cupboard, got the rice out and began measuring more and putting it into the pot that was boiling on the stove without waiting for a response from Haru.

"I hadn't really thought about that… You don't have to cook dinner for me,"

"Oh it's no problem at all! Besides, I'm sure Yuki will be glad to see you!"

"Yes," Shigure remarked with that amused expression still plastered firmly on his face, "I think that's an excellent idea, Tohru! A friendly face is probably just what Yuki needs right now,"

"What do you mean?" Haru frowned at them. Did they know what was wrong with Yuki?

"I had a little chat with Yuki today," Shigure smirked, "It seems our dear cousin is just a bit love-sick!"

Haru froze at the words, almost literally. Had Shigure seriously just said that? _Love-sick! _Surely he didn't mean to say that Yuki was actually falling for someone… _Someone other than me…_

"A-are you serious?"

"Of course I am! Surely you of all people would have noticed Yuki acting a bit strangely recently?" Kyo chose this moment to walk into the kitchen and listen to their conversation, "Even Kyo here noticed something!" Shigure jabbed a thumb in the cat's general direction.

"Well yeah but… I didn't suspect this… Who does he, uh, love?" Haru was dumbfounded. This was completely unexpected; he hadn't thought something like this could be the cause of Yuki's woes. And he found the news rather upsetting…

"Well now, he wouldn't tell me that. He got all defensive and worked up when I asked," Shigure rubbed his chin in thought, "I made a few intuitive guesses of my own, but he denied them all… Has Yuki said anything to you about anyone? Or maybe, have you noticed him acting especially affectionate to anyone in particular?"

"No…" his mind was beginning to race. He was trying desperately to figure out the who, what, where, when, how and whys of this new development and if it could be in any way related to Yuki's detached behaviour towards him.

"Well I think it's wonderful!" Tohru's cheery voice broke the silence, "Mum always said finding someone to share your life with is one of the best feelings in the world!"

"Yeah… I guess so…" Haru sighed, "So where is he?"

"Oh, Yuki's at his Secret Base! Would you like me to tell you how to get there?"

Haru accepted her offer and Tohru began explaining where it was and how to get there, using hand motions to demonstrate its location in relation to the house and the path.

"Ha! You're giving _him _directions!" Kyo started yelling, "Don't bother! That damn cow's sense of direction is so crappy, I'll bet he even got lost on his way _here!"_

There wasn't really much Haru could say to that, considering he _had _gotten lost on his way over, "I'm here now, aren't I?" he mumbled.

Kyo turned and headed up the stairs, "Whatever," he grunted and began muttering something about bipolar cows as he left.

"Anyway…" Shigure shook his head at his cousin, "See if Yuki will talk to you Haru. After all, you must know him pretty well by now. And I'm quite curious about this new romantic development!"

"Alright," Haru headed towards the door, "I'll go find Yuki's garden then,"

Just before he left, Tohru asked, "Um, Hatsuharu?"

"Hmmm?"

"It's just that, I didn't tell you Yuki's Secret Base is a garden…" Haru could understand her confusion. He'd never been to the Secret Base before and Yuki never talked about it at school. But Haru knew.

"It's like Shigure said," Haru smiled softly and called backed to them as he left, "I know Yuki well,"

Yuki had had a 'Secret Base' when they were children, but it had been a bigger secret to them back then. Often when Yuki was allowed to do as he liked within the Sohma estate, he would come and find Haru or Haru would go and find him. They would play and talk, sometimes Yuki would even go to Haru's house. One day when he came over, Haru's mother had showed him her garden.

Later on Yuki had confessed to Haru that he wished for a garden like the one she had. So together, the two boys made plans to make one. Behind the bushes, at the back of Haru's garden, a small plot was cleared, low wooden boards were put around it, it was given a sign which announced it as the 'Secret Base' and Yuki began growing fruits and vegetables in it with the ox's help. Haru had gotten the tools to put it together from his Father's shed and he bought all the seeds and gardening equipment with his own money especially for Yuki to use for planting things in his special little garden.

But it seemed Yuki had forgotten about it entirely when he left to live with Shigure.

Haru continued to ponder as he pedaled his way towards the new Secret Base.

So the reason for Yuki's unusual behaviour was… love…

His Yuki was in love with _someone else_.

Haru was hurt by the fact that Yuki hadn't told him anything, and by the way the older teen had been avoiding him. But it was nothing compared to the terrible feeling that was beginning to consume him as it truly sunk in that Yuki's affections now belonged to someone other than himself.

Not that they ever _'belonged' _to Haru in the first place. But still, he had been holding on to the faint glimmer of hope that they eventually might. A hope that seemed to have been crushed a fair bit, much like his heart.

The whole concept was causing a large range of emotions to stir within him. One of which was anger; in fact he began to worry that he might turn Black and say something regretful. He even considered returning to the Sohma Estate without seeing the rat as a precaution. But no, he came to talk to Yuki, and he wouldn't leave until he had done so. Especially not now.

No matter how upset he was, he was still worried about Yuki. The rat really did seem to be upset about something, and the ox wanted to know exactly why falling for someone was bothering him. Although he could guess the reason, he wanted to hear it from Yuki himself.

Oh but God help them if this mysterious person had been hurting Yuki on purpose. Haru wouldn't even attempt to keep his Black side under control if that was the case.

Suddenly Haru realised that he had finally reached the garden. There in a small clearing, was a quaint vegetable patch. And kneeling down next to it, dirty gardening gloves on with a tool in hand, was Yuki. He had a slight frown on his face and he looked as though he was deep in thought as he worked away on his little garden, but he looked as beautiful as ever to Haru.

The sight of his first love was enough to make his heart ache. But he told himself that even if Yuki loved someone else he would always be there for the older teen if and when he needed him. And the ox could still be with the rat, just not in the way he might have hoped to be...

Without announcing himself, Haru inquired, "So is this the second generation Secret Base?"

He had gotten off his bicycle and was standing only a few metres behind Yuki. He watched the older boy gasp and jump with shock, dropping his gardening tool and whirling around to face the unexpected intruder.

"H-Haru?" the shock and panic on Yuki's face was almost amusing, "What are you, um, what are you doing here?"

Haru held up the History book, "You left this at school, it was passed on to me so I thought I'd take the liberty of bringing it over to you," he began surveying what Yuki was growing as he walked over and passed the book to him. As always he was acutely aware of how close he came to the violet eyed boy as he did so.

"Really? You didn't have to do that Haru. That was very kind of you," the little smile that Yuki gave him as he took the book from the younger teen made Haru's heart skip a little.

_No, _Haru chastised himself, _I have to stop thinking that way. Yuki loves someone else now. Not me. Never me…_

Haru shrugged, "Anything for you," he said it nonchalantly, in a non-serious manner.

But he was serious. He meant it; he would do anything and everything he could for Yuki. Even if it meant staying on the sidelines while the person he loved gave his heart to someone else; regardless of the fact that that would probably break his own heart even more.

"Well thank you," Yuki put the book aside and turned back to face Haru, "Are you staying for dinner then? I don't doubt that Miss Honda offered you a place at the table tonight,"

"Mhmm. She did," Haru crouched down next to Yuki, "Anything I can help you with here?"

He couldn't help but notice the way Yuki shifted awkwardly when he sat down next to him, "Um, you could pull out those weeds if you like," he pointed to a cluster of weeds growing at the other end of the plot; the end farthest from Yuki. Haru wondered if he sent him all the way over there on purpose…

Nevertheless, he stood up and walked over to where the weeds were sprouting up around the strawberries that Yuki was growing there. For a few moments the two boys worked silently, pulling up weeds on both ends.

The silence was broken though when Haru suddenly spoke up, "So… Shigure was talking to me earlier…"

"Oh?" Yuki sounded uninterested but Haru suspected otherwise; the rat had stiffened immediately.

"Yeah. He mentioned something about a change in your love life," the foolishly ever hopeful part of him wished for Yuki to say something along the lines of: _"Of course there's been a change! I love _you _now!"_

"Haru, don't pay that dog any attention," Yuki muttered, "He doesn't know what he's talking about,"

"Right…" Haru sighed, he could tell that his cousin was not being honest. Yuki thought he could fool him, but Haru had known him for so long, always watching over him and noticing almost everything about him. There was no way the rat could lie like that without Haru seeing straight through him.

"You know you can still talk to me about anything…" he encouraged.

Yuki nodded, "I know,"

"But why aren't you letting me in now?"

For a moment, there was an incredibly awkward silence. Haru held his breath, waiting for Yuki to say something. Hoping that he would at least be honest with him.

"I… I don't know what you're talking about Haru…"

Haru was beginning to get more and more aggravated by this. He knew something was amiss, Yuki may as well have been lying to his face. The anger he had felt before was back, only greater in strength.

"Why are you lying?" he growled, the tone that usually signified the imminent arrival of Black Haru was evident in his voice, but Yuki said nothing, "Why can't you tell me? Why _won't _you tell me?"

For a moment, Yuki remained silent. Then he turned his head so that he was facing away from Haru, "Please don't," he finally murmured, "There's nothing for me to say to you,"

"_Stop lying!" _Haru snapped.

Couldn't Yuki see that he was hurting him? It was bad enough that the white haired boy knew the rat's heart now belonged to someone else, but the fact that Yuki had been avoiding him and wouldn't even tell him about it just made it all worse. It was like rubbing salt into a fresh wound and he could feel Black Haru begin to show himself, the rage of his other half pouring into his words. Words he would never speak in his white state.

"You know what? You don't have to tell me why you won't say anything, I already know why. Because whether you realise it or not Yuki, _I know you. _You won't say anything because you're still hiding behind that damn mask you made for yourself years ago; you're still pretending to be perfect, still pretending to be what you think everyone expects you to be! It annoys me so friggin much! You're fake! When are you going to stop and realise that all you're doing is pushing people away and hurting them! When are you going to realise that you're hurting _me!"_

Yuki recoiled as though he had just been slapped, his eyes went incredibly wide and he paled slightly. Several times he opened his mouth then closed it again; he seemed to be too shocked to say anything, so he just hung his head and stayed silent. He made no attempt to deny his cousin's words.

But every second that Yuki didn't speak, was a second in which Haru's anger increased, Black was assuming control over his mind, pushing him aside, his normal self was all but gone, "Well!" he demanded, "Aren't you going to say something?... Please…?" and then he hissed under his breath, "You're breaking my heart…" but he wasn't sure if Yuki heard him or not.

Yuki finally looked up at him, and Haru was shocked to see that there were actually tears in his eyes, threatening to spill down his soft, milky white cheeks. He took one long breath and said in a shaky voice, that he was obviously trying to even out, "I _can't _tell you Haru. I just can't…"

That did it. That pushed Haru over the edge completely. He was mad not only at Yuki's words, but he was mad at his tears. Not because he was crying, but because Haru had been the one to cause it; he was furious with himself.

His first attempt at channeling his anger was to kick out at the thing closest to him; which unfortunately was the strawberries. But that had been pointless because he was simply too furious to even come up with words to express his rage.

So instead of using words or actions, he just threw back his head and literally screamed out loud.

It was a loud, pained, almost animalistic sound. He screamed at the world for giving Yuki someone else to love, screamed at himself for making Yuki cry, screamed at Yuki's newfound love for stealing the rat's heart, and he screamed at Yuki for finally breaking his.

Once his throat hurt and he could scream no more, and while he still had a scrap of self control left, Haru ran from the garden, from Yuki and the rest of the world.

And as he ran, Black Haru finally took over completely, and Haru was left to deal with the nightmare of his other self.

* * *

**A/N. **Aw poor Haru! He thinks his Yuki is in love with someone else. And Yuki's too scared to tell him otherwise! Tsk tsk tsk…. What a mess I seem to have put the boys in…. Hmm, this is the first time I've written Black Haru, other than that one scene when he was just a little tacker, I hope I did it ok! And as for Yuki having tears in his eyes, I know it's rather OOC but it's not the first time he's cried and he is suffering a lot of emotional conflict right now! And… it's my story! If I want him to cry then I'll make him cry! XD Thank you tooooooo:

**lavillalover- **Ha! It would take something very serious to cause Shigure to act mature around them! XD Perhaps I shall make Shigure tell Ayame! Excellent! It's my most favourite yaoi pairing of all time! Haha!

**James Birdsong- **Thank you! Yes the last chapter didn't really have anything to do with sweetness XD its main purpose was the whole the-secret-is-out-there bit. :)

**Salamander1701- **Thank ya! Indeed he is, he's my friend's favourite! Glad you think so, I wasn't too impressed with it myself but I'm fine with it as long as you, the readers, liked it! Oh yesh, poor Yuki's troubles seem to be far from over yet :D

**Wolfys4ever- **Thank you! I was actually worried about getting bad reviews for the last chapter because I honestly thought it was poor. But it seems it has gained the approval of you readers! Amazing? Aw shucks! Indeed you're right; I just need to figure out how I'm going to write Ayame into it all. Akito will probably find out sooner or later, just need to decide how exactly… I shan't abandon it as long as you all want me to keep writing!

**makoto4ever- **You're absolutely right! Stories where the couples are together already are boring unless something else dramatic or interesting believe you me, there's plenty more emotional confusion and teenage angstiness to come! :D

**Pheonix09- **Shigure tells Ayame… Ayame tells Hatori… Akito overhears… SQUEE! *hugs you* thank you so much for that idea! I wanted some way for Shigure's knowing of the ordeal to lead to Akito knowing but I didn't want him to tell Akito directly cos that just makes Shigure sound like such a mean old so and so! But I didn't think of that, it's perfect! Thanks! :D

**mistic fox- **Thanks! Hope you loved this one too!

**Tuliharja- **Thank you for the compliments! As for Yuki being OOC, yeah I guess he was a bit. Sorry! I know you said something about Yuki not being likely to cry so I apologise in advance if you didn't like him crying in this chapter. But it's fanfiction, I'm allowed to make them at least a little OOC aren't I? :) Ha yes Shigure will be telling Ayame what he knows! And Haru will be much more active in the story from now on. As for Kyo and Yuki being friends… Not sure I can see that happening… I know what you mean by it being OOC but I kinda like it when they get along with each other (even if they still snap at each other and all that). So in this story I don't think they'll become friends so to speak but maybe they'll get along slightly. Not too sure about that.

**mousecat- **Hehe, thanks! Well technically he was just teasing when he said about Yuki liking a boy but the poor rat still didn't like it! He definitely would! In fact… now that you mention it… Hmm, perhaps I should put that in at some point… Oh yes, thanks to Shigure, Ayame and Hatori will be informed and Akito too! Which will be a bit eventful! Haha! Oh I'll definitely make Ayame create a nice little piece for his dear little brother at some point! XD

Well now, review and tell me how much you hate me for making Yuki break Haru's heart. But come on, they'll be alright in the end!

Thank you all for reading! ^.^


	8. Words Will Haunt Me Forever

**A/N. **Let's see how poor Yuki is handling this new plot development. BTW, in this story Haru's mother is an OC because I've only seen the anime and haven't read the entire manga series yet, therefore I really have no clue as to what Haru's parents are supposed to be like. And I'm sorry if she's nothing at all like how she's supposed to be.

Disclaimer: Oh for God's sake. I don't own Fruits Basket.

Warnings: Boy on boy (aka Yaoi) and mentions of past child abuse, very mild and infrequent bad language. Blah.

* * *

**Chapter Eight**

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.

Yuki wanted to meet whoever it was who came up with that phrase because it was undeniably, immensely, completely and totally _incorrect._

Haru hadn't laid a finger on him, but every word that he had yelled at Yuki had hurt him a little more. And that scream… that scream had just ripped straight through Yuki. It was horrible… The rat had heard the anger and pain in that scream, and it had been so loud that it hurt his ears. It broke his own heart too, because although Yuki didn't entirely understand why the ox had been so highly distraught he still knew he was the one who had caused Haru's agony.

He didn't blame his cousin for yelling at him though. Yuki blamed himself for pushing Haru over the edge and bringing Black out. He had just been at a complete loss as to what to say to Haru when he had begun questioning him. He couldn't tell him the truth, but he couldn't bring himself to outright lie to Haru either. Although it seemed the outcome had been catastrophic anyway.

But what was it that Haru had hissed quietly just before he ran off? Yuki could almost swear that it had been something about breaking his heart, but that couldn't have been it. God it was all so confusing, he didn't know what to make of any of it.

So he did something that he hadn't allowed himself the luxury of since he was very small.

Yuki wept.

As soon as Haru left and there was no one there to see his tears, he curled up on the ground at the base of a tree and shed every single tear he had kept bottled up. He cried loudly and miserably to himself until he was too tired to do so any more. But he couldn't bring himself to go back to the house yet. So he stayed curled up on the ground and left himself to the mercy of his own depressing thoughts.

_Oh no, _he realised eventually, _Haru ran in the opposite direction of the house. He must be lost by now. Lost and alone and it's entirely my fault…_

Yuki didn't want to go back to the house, he really didn't. The others would easily be able to tell that he had been crying, and he wanted nothing more than to stay there on the ground and disappear into the earth below. Although technically that wasn't true. The only thing he wanted more at that moment was for Haru to all of a sudden reappear and tell him that he forgave Yuki for being terrible to him, to hold him close and comfort him the way he had whenever Yuki broke down as a child.

But he didn't come back.

The way Yuki saw it, he had two options: he could stay there and wallow in his own self pity in an utterly_ pathetic_ manner or he could compose himself, go back to the house and inform the others that Haru was most likely lost. Yuki chose option number two. He felt guilty enough as it was and if Haru spent the entire night lost or hurt because Yuki was too busy feeling sorry for himself to tell anyone that he was possibly missing… well he would probably never forgive himself.

So Yuki dragged himself to his feet and gathered his gardening equipment and the History book that Haru had brought to him. _Nuisance of a thing… _he thought to himself.

Finally he left his garden and very slowly began to pick his way along the path back to Shigure's, pushing Haru's bicycle along with him; it seemed that in his fit of rage the younger teen had completely forgotten it. He was going at a very slow pace though and he was practically leaning against the bicycle for support, his legs felt weak and wobbly and they didn't seem to be able to go any faster no matter how much Yuki willed them too.

"_So is this the second generation Secret Base?" _Haru had asked him. Second generation… No doubt he had been referring to the garden he and Yuki had as children named 'Yuki and Haru's Secret Base'.

He had never returned to that garden after he left the Sohma Estate and moved in with Shigure, because he hadn't been capable of bringing himself to go back there. But he hadn't forgotten about it, he still remembered the day when he and Haru had planted the first seeds...

_Yuki was wandering around the Sohma estate with a grim expression, not really paying attention to where he was going. It didn't matter; he would only end up back in the same place at the end of it all. Which was a depressing thought indeed, and it did nothing to help lighten his mood._

_But then as Yuki was walking he remembered Haru's visit earlier that morning. The younger boy had come to his window and asked if he was going to be out that day. As soon as Yuki had told him that he was in fact leaving his room that afternoon, Haru had become excited and told him that he would have a surprise for him if he came over to his place._

_Curious and a little bit excited, Yuki quickly made his way towards Haru's house. But he only made it halfway there when a certain white haired boy came running up to him._

"_Yuki!" Haru called, waving at him as he ran, "You came!"_

"_Of course I did," Yuki smiled, "I'm looking forward to my surprise,"_

"_And I can't wait for you to see it," little Haru was uncharacteristically excited and when he finally reached Yuki he almost literally jumped on him and gave him a hug, "You'll love it, I promise!"_

"_I'm sure I will," honestly, Haru could have given Yuki a single weed flower and it would make him happy. It really was the thought that counted._

_Haru grabbed his older cousin's hand and all but dragged him the rest of the way to his house. Yuki had to wonder what could possibly make him so excited._

_Once they arrived, Haru led Yuki into the backyard and took him over towards the bush where the two boys had started to make the vegetable patch. Yuki began to wonder if the surprise had anything to do with it…_

"_We're nearly there, close your eyes," Haru ordered. Yuki obeyed and was led through the bushes, until the younger boy stopped and said, "You can open your eyes now,"_

_Yuki opened them slowly. And what he saw did not disappoint him. _

_The last time he had seen their little unfinished garden, it had been nothing but a small, measured out patch of bare ground that the two boys had cleared up. But Haru had turned it into a proper vegetable patch, he had built the perimeter for it with planks of sanded wood that were painted a shade of purple that seemed to match Yuki's eyes and from what the rat could see he had filled it with proper gardening soil. Haru had even made a wooden sign on the fence beside it that said: "Yuki and Haru's Secret Base" DO NOT TOUCH!_

"_Haru, this is fantastic!" he exclaimed._

"_Wait! Wait here, there's more," Haru pushed his way out of the bushes._

_Yuki was left to examine the 'Secret Base'. He truly thought it was fantastic; he couldn't wait to start growing things in it! Haru had already promised to look after the things he planted when he couldn't get to them. It was going to be perfect._

"_I'm back!" Haru called after a few moments, making his way through the bushes with something in his arms, "Here's the rest of your surprise,"_

_He shoved the thing in his arms into Yuki's. The rat looked down to see that it was a basket filled with everything he would need to start and look after the garden; seeds, spades, fertilizer, a watering can and everything else he would require._

_For a moment he just stared at the basket, and then he put it down gently… and turned to Haru, suddenly engulfing him in a thank-you-hug._

"_Haru, this is amazing! It's the best surprise I've ever had, thank you so much!" he was overwhelmed. It had to be the kindest thing anyone had ever done for him._

_Once he got over the fact that Yuki had initiated an embrace between them for the first time ever, Haru hugged him back tightly, "You're welcome Yuki. I just hope it does its job…"_

_Having finished with the hug, Yuki let go and began pulling out the contents of the basket one by one, "Its job…?" he asked._

"_You always seem so sad whenever I see you… I wanted to give you something that will make you smile whenever you use it. And I thought this would make you smile… will it?"_

_Yuki was touched. Haru was always so kind and considerate to him, more so than anyone else, "It will, Haru, it will. But not as much as you do,"_

"_Really? You mean it?" the ox looked so incredibly happy that Yuki had said such a thing to him (or at least as happy as was possible for the typically stoic boy)._

"_I do, really," and he did mean it. Every smile that ever came upon his face during that time was because of Haru, he was his only friend, his closest friend. And he was the best friend he could ever have._

It seemed ironic in a sort of twisted way that Yuki's reason for even living as a child was now unintentionally the reason he was walking through the trees alone as the sun was disappearing, cold and miserable. The house was within his sight by now so he made some final attempts at cleaning himself up before he arrived.

Once he reached the front door Yuki leaned Haru's bicycle against the house and stopped before he entered it. If he was lucky, there would be no one downstairs so he would be able to go straight up the stairs and to the phone and call Haru's house. If he was luckier still his Haru's mother would answer the phone and tell Yuki that the ox had made it home, safe and sound.

Unfortunately, he opened the door and walked into the house to find that he was _not _lucky. Because there, sitting at the table, were Kyo and Shigure. And then Tohru walked in from the kitchen carrying their dinner.

"Ah, Yuki! Where is…" Shigure's smile dropped and his sentence died out as his gaze reached Yuki's face. Though he hadn't actually seen his own face, Yuki didn't doubt that at that moment it portrayed the way he felt on the inside; Broken. Certainly his eyes were red and puffy from crying too.

With a sniffle, Yuki said, "I need to use the phone," and made his way upstairs without even looking back to see his housemates reactions. His first and foremost priority was to make sure that Haru was okay.

Once he reached the phone, he dialed the number he had memorised years ago and anxiously waited for someone to pick up the phone at Haru's house. Finally after eight agonising rings, Haru's mother answered the call.

"_Hello?"_

"Hello Mrs. Sohma, it's Yuki," he tried to sound as calm and stable as possible, but he wasn't sure whether or not he was successful in doing so.

"_Oh Yuki! My I haven't seen you in so long! How are you?" _she had always been kind to Yuki. If Haru had been Yuki's first friend, then Haru's mother had probably been his second.

"I'm fine thank you. How are you?"

"_Fine, fine. So how can I help you?"_

"Is… is Haru there?"

"_Yes he is, did you want to speak to him?"_

"No!" Yuki exclaimed instantly, he was not ready to speak to Haru again just yet, "I just, uh, wanted to call and make sure he got home safe. I'm worried about him. He left here in a bad way you see, I just wanted to make sure he was okay… Is he?"

"_I'm not one-hundred percent sure Yuki…"_

"What do you mean?" for a moment Yuki's blood ran cold and his stomach did an odd little flip-flop. What did she mean she wasn't sure? Haru wasn't hurt, was he?

"_Well he was limping when he got home. I made him let me look and he had a pretty deep cut in his leg, Hatori came and saw to it, he didn't need stitches thankfully. And he's been awfully quiet since he got here and he went straight to his room once Hatori left and he hasn't come out since… To be honest I'm worried about him…"_

"Oh…" Yuki didn't know what to say. What could he say? Could he tell her that it was his fault Haru was upset, his fault that he'd injured himself? No. Definitely not. "I'm sorry to hear that, Mrs. Sohma. But, uh, could you please tell Haru that he left his bicycle here?"

"_He did? Oh well I'll be sure to tell him then. Thank you for calling Yuki, I hope to see you again sometime soon,"_

"You're welcome. Good bye," he didn't make any comment on her remark about seeing him sometime soon. Somehow he doubted that she would…

"_Bye bye,"_

Yuki dropped the phone back down onto the receiver, then slumped against the wall and slowly slid down until he was on the floor and began processing what Haru's mother had told him.

So Haru _had_ hurt himself when Black had taken over, and from what his mother had said it sounded like he was still upset about that afternoon too. Yuki hadn't thought it was possible for him to feel any more guilt than he already had been, but now he did. He put both of his hands over his face and hung his head.

This was terrible. Utterly and totally terrible. This outcome was not what Yuki had wanted, not even close. He was at a complete loss as to what he should do next. He had never loved someone like this before. Never hurt someone so badly before. And never in his life had he ever felt so guilty or felt so much of what could only be described as disappointment and hatred for himself.

"Y-Yuki?" Tohru's voice suddenly broke through his thoughts, even though it was soft and timid, "Are you alright? What's wrong?"

Yuki put his hands down and saw Tohru standing at the top of the staircase, looking as though she was unsure whether she should approach him or not.

"Don't worry about me Miss Honda," he managed to conjure up a fake smile for her, "I'll be alright," _I hope…_

"Are you sure…?" she didn't look convinced.

"Absolutely, everything's fine," _Everything's falling apart…_

"Well, would you like to come downstairs now? Dinner's ready," she smiled at him; a worried smile that only made Yuki feel worse. He didn't want her to be worried on top of everything else.

But no matter how much he wanted to pretend for everyone's sake that everything really was fine, he couldn't bring himself to accept her offer. He was just too tired to eat and face Kyo and Shigure; not to mention that his stomach was giving him the impression that if he even tried to eat anything he would be bent over the nearest sink or toilet bowl afterwards.

"No thank you Miss Honda, I'm tired and I'm really not hungry,"

"Oh… Okay…" she hesitated to leave him, "Are you sure you'll be alright?"

"I'm sure," with a great amount of effort, he pulled himself up off the floor, "I'm a little anxious about our upcoming exams that's all. I just need to sleep, don't worry,"

"Okay then… You can come down and eat whenever you like," even Tohru would be able to tell that he was bluffing about his 'exam anxieties', but she didn't press the issue any further. Perhaps she understood that Yuki just didn't want to talk about whatever it was that was bothering him. Either way he was grateful for it.

"Thank you Miss Honda," he said.

She smiled at him one last time then left to join the other Sohmas at the table. No doubt they would discuss what they thought was the cause of the rat's distress. But he couldn't care less about their opinions at that moment.

Yuki dragged himself into his room and tried to distract himself with his book. But as he turned the pages of the novel he noticed something rather odd; small cuts in the palms of his hands. Upon closer inspection he realised with shock that at some point in amidst the chaotic events of the evening he had dug his fingernails into his own skin hard enough to draw blood, and he hadn't even noticed the pain.

This day just keeps getting better and better…" he mumbled to himself sarcastically.

Yuki hadn't been lying to Tohru when he said that he was tired, and after only an hour or two the rat found he was so exhausted that he couldn't even keep his eyes open properly and the words on the pages in front of him kept blurring together. Not that he'd been able to actually read much of it anyway.

So he changed into his sleeping clothes and slipped in between the sheets of his bed. Eventually he fell into a restless sleep; he kept waking up throughout the night. His slumber was plagued with nightmares and voices in his head. Mostly Haru's voice. Haru screaming and yelling and even crying…

But the one he remembered most clearly was a voice which he believed to be a reflection of his own, only it sounded completely miserable and hopeless. It whispered to him in a voice laced with defeat…

_Stick and stones may break my bones but words will haunt me forever…_

_

* * *

_

**A/N. **Well that's always been my opinion on the saying… Hmm, this is another long chapter. I'm sorry for making Yuki sad! He'll be alright in the end! And I repeat what I said last time about Yuki crying: he is very confused and upset and mad, he's allowed to cry no matter how OOC it is! And because I want him to... Hehehe! Reviews thankies to:

**Tuliharja- **Thank you so much! Well, for all intensive purposes this is based on the anime because I haven't read all of the manga series. However you have an excellent point there! I also absolutely loved the idea of Haru doing something so kind for Yuki! So just for you, from now on Haru shall address Shigure as Sensei!

**Tahira- **Haha! You know what? If that scene happened in the anime and I was watching it that's probably exactly what I would've said! XD

**mousecat- **Pretty much! Obviously your first guess was right- Yuki dissolved into a puddle of tears. But there kinda was a reason for that, I'm going somewhere with this!

**Pheonix09- **I swear to God you must be a long-distance mind reader… I've already written the drafts for upcoming chapters and you're gonna get a mixture of your idea #2 and #3!

**Wolfys4ever- **Naw! Thank you so much! It's reviews like that that make me feel good about my writing! ^.^

**yukixharuyaoi- **Thank you thank you thank you! I'm so glad you're enjoying the story that's dedicated to you! :D

Again, I request your reviews so that I may know what you all think. And I'm sorry if there are any spelling or grammar mistakes; I proof-read this in the wee hours of the morning when I was practically half asleep!

Thank you for reading my story. ^.^


	9. Guilt and a Broken Promise

**A/N. **Good lord, these past few chapters have definitely been the longest! Well done for making it this far without being bored to death! Don't worry, soon enough there shall be some Yuki/Haru goodness…

Disclaimer: I don't own anything here. Cept the plot :D

Warnings: Boy on boy (aka Yaoi) and mentions of past child abuse, very mild and infrequent bad language.

* * *

**Chapter Nine**

Haru ached all over, inside and out.

After running from Yuki, everything was a blur up until the point were he had found himself tripping over a log and slashing his leg open on a sharp rock as he collided with the ground. Perhaps it had been the pain or maybe even just the shock of the fall, either way Haru had returned to his White state at that moment.

He had vaguely recognised where he was and after some trial and error he eventually managed to find his way back home; slowly and painfully though, with the agony his leg was causing and the persistent throbbing in his head.

Now he was lying on his bed with his hands behind his head. Hatori had given him painkillers when he came and bandaged Haru's leg, but his headache was still there, only fainter, and the pain his in leg had decreased to a dim but constant ache.

"Well," he asked his empty room, "Now what do I do?"

It had all happened in the space of a few hours, it was almost too much for Haru to take in and process.

Yuki loved someone and he didn't even see fit to tell Haru himself. The ox had thought his friend trusted him enough to at least talk to him about something so important. After all, he had been Yuki's first friend. Obviously they weren't as close as Haru had thought they were; and that hurt him.

He had been thinking, trying to figure out if this connected in any way to Yuki's detached attitude towards him. To Haru it appeared as though the rat had little interest in continuing their friendship. Eventually he came to the conclusion that his older cousin was ashamed of him; he didn't want his new love interest to think he was associated with a bipolar idiot.

It made sense to Haru.

But he had let his feelings for Yuki and his enragement over this new development get the best of him. He had snapped and yelled at Yuki, said things that he shouldn't have, destroyed a piece of the Secret Base garden and then left the rat there to cry on his own.

S_hit, _he thought regretfully, _That's exactly what Akito used to do to him; yell at him and then leave him alone, crying. I wouldn't blame Yuki if he hates me now…_

The thought of Yuki truly hating him was enough to make him angry again and he slammed his fist against the wall in an attempt to vent his rage, which only caused his hand to throb in synchronisation with the pain in his head. He felt horrible for what he had done. But still, he found that some of his anger was directed at the rat. _He hurt me… It's fair to be at least a little angry…_

But even if it was justified, hatred towards Yuki felt bitter and disgusting. The awful words he had yelled at him had left such a sour and disgusting taste in Haru's mouth.

He was brought out of his speculation when he heard the phone ringing downstairs and his Mother answer it. He listened closely to her half of the conversation.

"Hello?... Oh Yuki! My I haven't seen you in so long! How are you?" when he realised that it was Yuki his Mother was talking to, Haru jumped up, limped out of his room and sat himself down at the top of the stairway to eavesdrop on her half of the conversation.

"Fine, fine. So how can I help you?" she continued, "Yes he is, did you want to speak to him?" Haru's insides did an odd little flip. So Yuki was calling his house and asking about him, surely he must still at least care about Haru then?

But his heart dropped into his stomach when his Mother didn't yell out for him to take the call. So Yuki didn't even want to talk to him over the phone… Then again, maybe that was a good thing. At least it meant that he wasn't calling just to tell Haru how much he hated him now and request that he not speak to him at school…

"I'm not one-hundred percent sure Yuki…" Haru's curiosity was growing, what exactly were they talking about? "Well he was limping when he got home. I made him let me look and he had a pretty deep cut in his leg, Hatori came and saw to it, he didn't need stitches thankfully. And he's been awfully quiet since he got here and he went straight to his room once Hatori left and he hasn't come out since… To be honest I'm worried about him…" well they were definitely talking about Haru.

"He did? Oh well I'll be sure to tell him then. Thank you for calling Yuki, I hope to see you again sometime soon… Bye bye,"

As soon as his Mother put the phone back down onto the receiver, Haru stood up and limped his way down the stairs and into the kitchen.

Haru's Mother turned around and gasped when she saw him leaning against the wall in the kitchen doorway, "Goodness, Haru! You frightened me," she put her hand over her heart, then dropped it back down to hang by her side, "How's your leg feeling?"

"Better," Haru said as he staggered into the kitchen and sat down on a chair at the table, "Who was on the phone?"

"That was Yuki; he was calling to make sure you made it home safe. The poor boy was worried about you, he sounded like he might have even been crying! You must've given him a terrible scare taking off without your bike like that!" there was a tone of disapproval in her voice.

"Yuki… he was _worried_ about me?" Haru was grabbing at strands of hope. If Yuki worried that must mean he really did care, and if he cared… well hopefully he cared enough to want to get past what had happened…

"He was, he even said so himself," she paused for a moment, "Haru, did something happen between you two?"

Haru fiddled with the pendant on one of his chains, "Why do you ask?"

"Oh as if I need to tell you! You went off to see Yuki, then you came home bleeding and obviously upset about something, _without _your bike; something you don't forget easily. And now Yuki has called me sounding distressed and worried, asking me about you. It doesn't take a genius to realise something's going on,"

"Don't worry about it, Mum," he sighed, he didn't particularly want his Mother getting involved in this messy situation, "It's nothing Yuki and I can't get through," or at least, he _hoped _they could.

"Are you sure?"

"Everything's fine," which was a complete and utter lie.

"Well alright, but you know if you ever need to talk," she smiled at her son affectionately; he knew how the rest of that sentence went, "Now, go wash your hands! Dinner's about to be served,"

Haru smiled at her and did as he was told. He was lucky to have his Mother really. Lucky she hadn't rejected him the way Momiji's had, and lucky that she hadn't just grown sick of his personality issues like his Father...

After he ate, Haru returned to the solitary confinement of his room. So, now he knew Yuki had at least been worried about him. He cared enough to check that he had gotten home safely; if a little worse for wear. Haru took that as a good sign. If he could face Yuki tomorrow, he would apologise and ask if they could remain friends. Although the possibility that his older cousin might not accept his apology and refuse his offer of friendship, coupled with the terrible sense of guilt he felt, was enough to make Haru feel physically ill.

_I wonder if Yuki feels as bad as I do right now… I hope not…_

He pleaded to no one in particular that he hadn't hurt Yuki badly. He had promised the older boy when they were little that he would never treat him the way Akito and his Mother did. _I told him he was fake… Then left him outside alone even though I knew there were tears in his eyes…_ Haru buried his face in his arms and groaned. It seemed he had broken that promise, and he felt horrible for it. He wished he could take it all back, every single word he had yelled in spite.

The thought continued to plague him even as he finally crawled into bed and tried to sleep later that night. But sleep would not come easily to the poor ox. He tossed and turned and moaned as he thought about the events of the day. Eventually the painkillers wore off too and his wound began to throb intensely, sending waves of agony through his leg. But he didn't want to get up and search for the painkillers Hatori had left for him; that would only wake him up further and hurt his leg. For hours on end Haru tried desperately to sleep.

Eventually he managed to drift off in the early hours of the morning, only to suffer a nightmare several hours later in which Yuki confessed to him that he felt nothing but loathing for the younger teen, and told him to leave forever and never speak to him again, _ever. _After spitting venomous words at Haru, Yuki had run off into the arms of another, completely disregarding the ox; who was lying on the ground, suffering incredible amounts of physical and emotional pain. Even when Haru woke up from his dream with a yell, he still felt pure and untainted hatred and jealousy towards the shadowy figure that Yuki had run to.

It seemed that Haru would be getting no more sleep that night, so he gave up on trying and stayed awake until his alarm went off.

Haru skipped breakfast that morning and didn't even bother to pack himself any lunch; he was far too nervous about seeing Yuki again to even consider eating anything. Momiji noticed something was amiss as soon as Haru walked over to him at the front gate of the Sohma Estate.

"What's up with you, Haru? You look like a zombie!" the rabbit announced as they left on their way to school.

"Nothing. I just didn't sleep well last night," Haru grunted, and Momiji teased him good-naturedly for being nervous about the end of year exams and didn't suspect anything else. Although the rabbit did notice the ox's awkward limp, Haru just told him that he injured his leg by crashing his bicycle.

Haru was becoming more and more anxious with every limping step that led him closer to where he would see Yuki. He was very glad he'd skipped eating that morning because he would have surely thrown it up by now.

Eventually they arrived at the school and the two boys parted ways to go to their own lockers.

As Haru walked around the corner of the hallway he saw something that made his heart skip at least three beats and his palms break into a sweat immediately. Standing by his locker, looking very small and defeated with his head hung low and his shoulders hunched, was Yuki.

_Here goes nothing…_ Haru tried to even out his breathing as he wiped his palms on his pants and approached his locker. Once he was barely more than a metre away, he just stood there awkwardly for a moment. Yuki was so vacant that he hadn't even noticed that the ox had walked right up to him. The younger teen noticed he was holding some kind of plastic container. Not knowing what else to do, Haru cleared his throat loudly.

Yuki's head snapped up and Haru jumped. The rat looked as bad as the ox felt. It seemed that the older boy hadn't slept very well either. The bags under his eyes were almost as big as the ones under Haru's and he looked like he felt ill too.

Haru tore his eyes away from Yuki's face and saw that something was being held out to him, the plastic container Yuki had been holding.

"Leftovers," was all he said as he held the container out to his cousin.

"W-what?" this wasn't quite how Haru had expected this conversation to go…

"It's leftovers from last night. Miss Honda wanted me to give it to you because you didn't stay for dinner last night…" Yuki looked back down at the floor and wrapped his arms around himself as soon as Haru took the food from him.

"Oh… right… Thank you…" he was at a loss for words. Should he just blurt out his apology? But what exactly should he say? He had planned it all out in his head before, but he was panicking too much! Now he couldn't remember any of it! Maybe it would be a good idea to ask Yuki to go somewhere alone with him so they could talk in private… But then again Yuki probably wouldn't want to go anywhere with him alone-

"Your bicycle is still at Shigure's, you should probably get it soon… I asked your Mother to tell you that…" Yuki's gaze remained glued to the floor.

"Of course," Haru sighed as he opened his locker, "She said you called last night… I just wanted to say thank you for, uh, checking up on me,"

Yuki only nodded in response. Haru didn't suspect he was going to say much more, until he suddenly asked, "Is your leg alright?" he didn't seem to want to talk about the incident at his garden.

"Oh it's… Well it's a bit sore but I have painkillers from Hatori. It's not too bad…" Haru decided not to mention that the agony it caused him had been one of the key reasons he hadn't slept much the night before.

Yuki nodded again. Haru was still frantically trying to think of exactly how and when he should apologise when Yuki suddenly blurted, "I have to go. I'll see you later," and then left hastily before Haru could even respond, as though he was eager to get away from him. Which left the younger boy at a complete loss. Yuki's words had been short and clipped, and he had left without hesitation…

_I have a bad feeling about this…_

Haru had a hard time concentrating in his classes. He was _still _trying to think of the best way to apologise. Usually he was able to go about things with his calm and impassive attitude, but when Yuki was involved his emotions tended to become slightly frantic and confusing. Eventually he decided he would find Yuki after school, alone, and explain himself then. Although he wasn't quite sure what he would say.

At lunch though, Haru noticed that Yuki had the same leftovers as he did, but neither Tohru nor Kyo had any. He watched as the violet eyed boy played with his food, he had a grim expression on his face and he didn't eat much of it at all. Every so often, he covered his mouth with his hand and coughed a little.

And then Haru realised. _Oh no. I made him sick last night, didn't I? He must've stayed out in the cold, and it's my fault… _He suddenly found that he didn't have much of an appetite either…

At one point when Yuki lifted his hand to cover his mouth as he coughed, Haru caught a glimpse of red on his palms. Then he realised what he was looking at; 4 little cuts the size of fingernails carved into Yuki's skin.

Shocked and concerned, Haru immediately reached out and grabbed onto Yuki's wrist, he saw the rat's violet orbs widen in shock and… was that a flash of fear?

"Yuki, what happened to your hands?" Haru demanded, now that he was looking closely he could see 4 more cuts in Yuki's other palm as well. The table's other occupants were paying close attention. It seemed they too had noticed the cuts but either hadn't said anything or hadn't been given a straight answer from the rat.

Abruptly, Yuki snatched his wrist from Haru's hand as though the ox's touch burned and muttered, "Nothing… I must have done it in my sleep…"

Haru said nothing more about them, but his concern over Yuki strengthened even more.

The others all eyed the rat and the ox with suspicion throughout the whole day. Haru supposed they were all assuming that the pair had had an argument or a falling out of some sort, and none of them seemed to know what to say to either one of the two.

When the school day finally ended Haru ran out of the building to catch up to Yuki, Kyo and Tohru (or at least he tried, but with his sore leg his run resembled more of a hop). He spotted them up ahead and called out, "Yuki! Wait up!"

Even though he had only called for one of them, Yuki, Kyo and Tohru all stopped and turned to face Haru. The white haired boy awkwardly jogged up to them and faced Yuki, "Can I talk to you?"

Yuki hesitated a moment, then turned to Kyo and Tohru, "You two go ahead, I'll catch up," the cat and the onigiri both nodded and walked away, although Tohru glanced back once and cast them a worried smile.

Yuki turned back around to face Haru and the ox dived straight in, "About yesterday, I just wanted to apologise-"

"No. Don't," Yuki suddenly said, he was wrapping his arms around himself again and Haru wondered exactly why he kept doing that, "Don't apologise… I don't want you to… But I still can't… Because you… You're…" he was struggling to speak, more so than Haru had ever seen him struggle before. More precisely, he looked like he was choking on his own words. It was alarming to see him stutter with such uncharacteristic difficulty, "Just… Please, let's not talk about it…" he finally said, all the while he avoided looking at Haru.

"But I-" was all that came out of Haru's mouth before Yuki interrupted him again.

"Haru! I said don't! I'm sorry… But please-"

"Never mind, I'll just go," Haru mumbled as he turned away. It seemed like Yuki didn't even want to hear his apology. _I guess if I don't even say it, he doesn't have to reject it… _The ox's temper was beginning to run short, and he did _not _want to risk snapping at Yuki again.

"Haru wait!" Yuki exclaimed, reaching out and grabbing the younger boy's arm, "I don't think you understand! That's not what I-"

The ox shrugged him off roughly and the older teen looked shocked at the simple but offensive action, "Don't worry about it, Yuki," Haru muttered as he continued to walk away, "I'll see you on Monday,"

Haru felt bad, no, _terrible_ for leaving Yuki behind; _again. _But he just didn't want to hear it.

He didn't want to hear Yuki reject his apology.

* * *

**A/N. **Silly boy Haru! Silly boy Yuki! You've both got it all mixed up! Just hurry up and snog already XD More review thankies to:

**Tuliharja- **GAH! I _despise _Rin! Thanks! I'm glad you thought so. Ha yeah I knew he made his jewels. Hmmm….. Perhaps he should make one for Yuki… XD you laughed at that? Well I suppose it is sorta funny!

**tahira- **You cried? *passes you a tissue* just in case… Ah so Haru's parents are supposed to be ashamed of him…? Well, his Mother in this story certainly isn't… So let's just say that his Dad is the one who's ashamed and he left! Or something along those lines XD

**Phenoix09- **Well it's only a couple of chapters away! Haha yeah angst just isn't the same without a bit of crying! Thank you!

**mousecat- **It certainly is! I'm glad the garden flashback did its job in showcasing their relationship! Aha! They certainly will, just not yet ;P

**yukixharuyaoi- **Indeed they do. So glad that you're computer is back in action again! :D

I think you know what I want… *cough* _review_ *cough*

Thanks for reading! ^.^


	10. Until It's Gone

**A/N. **OMG ten chapters? Well I certainly didn't expect it to go this far… I assumed that by now no one would be reviewing and I'd be writing a story that no one was even reading… Man I have such a small amount of faith in my writing XP

Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits basket. Blah blah blah, you get the idea.

Warnings: Boy on boy (aka Yaoi) and mentions of past child abuse, very mild and infrequent bad language.

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**Chapter Ten**

By the following Tuesday, Yuki had gone through so many different emotions he was surprised he hadn't just shattered into a million fragments yet. He hadn't thought it was even possible for a human to experience such an array of emotions in less than a week.

Along with feeling completely lost, Yuki felt an incredible amount of guilt, anger, self-hatred, loneliness and confusion. Sometimes he felt them all at once, sometimes one at a time. Sometimes he understood why he felt them, sometimes he could barely comprehend how things had gotten this way. It seemed to be slowly crushing him.

But underneath all of those negative emotions, the rat found that his bewildering love for Haru remained.

He felt horrid for the way they had left things after school on Friday. From what he could tell, when he had begun tripping over his own words Haru had read something else into it, although he wasn't sure exactly what. Yuki supposed that would've been easy to accomplish, even the rat himself wasn't entirely certain of what he had been trying to say. All he knew for sure was that he hadn't wanted Haru to apologise to him. He thought he had been in the process of beginning his own apology but then Haru had left…

He would've liked to have gone after the ox and attempt to explain himself more thoroughly. But when Haru had shrugged him off in an almost violent manner, Yuki recognised the dangerous glint in his eyes. He saw Black Haru lurking beneath the surface. And he had been afraid.

It had been years since the rat had ever actually feared his cousin's other self, but he supposed that in light of recent events, it was hearing Haru yell hurtful things at him that he was scared of. Even though what he had said that day was the horrible truth of the matter, Yuki didn't want to hear it spoken aloud. To acknowledge it only made it more real for him.

Yuki had considered trying to straighten things out by calling Haru, but he felt that was too impersonal. He needed to talk to Haru face-to-face. So then he thought about visiting Haru and talking to him. But several things were stopping him from going through with it; apart from his fear of facing his cousin. For one, Haru lived at the Sohma Estate. To visit him, Yuki would have to go to the place he hated the most in the world and risk seeing the dreadful person that still haunted his nightmares.

It was raining on and off so walking there himself wasn't an option anyway, and then there was the cold that he had developed. His ears and nose were stuffy, his head ached, his temperature was high and he had been coughing and sniffling for the whole weekend. When Yuki wasn't sitting under the heater he was shuffling around the house wearing an extra jumper and thick socks with a blanket wrapped around him at all times.

Tohru had been fussing over him like a frantic mother. Constantly checking his temperature, shooing him to bed early and fixing him hot drinks and special soups that she swore would help him recover. But no matter how much chicken soup Yuki consumed, his health didn't improve much. In fact Tohru and Shigure had refused to let him go to school on Monday, both insisted that he needed at least one more day of rest. Although Yuki was slightly thankful for that; anything to postpone what would most likely be an awkward and uncomfortable conversation with Haru.

But really there were just two things about his being ill that were actually beneficial to him. One was that he was able to blame his foul mood on his sickness and no one questioned him. Not even Kyo. The cat was annoyed however because he wasn't allowed to fight with Yuki under any circumstances. And the rainy weather that the orange haired boy despised so much certainly didn't help the grumpy mood that he was also sporting.

The other reason was that apparently Ayame had been overly eager, or rather more so than usual, to visit Yuki for some reason. But Hatori had informed him of his little brother's sickness and ordered the snake to leave him be until he was well again. No doubt he would come bursting through Shigure's door the moment he was told that Yuki had recovered though. The rat wondered exactly why Ayame was so adamant about visiting him all of a sudden. Then again, he knew his older brother could be rather random and impulsive so he didn't think much of it.

When Tuesday finally came around Yuki forced himself to go to school. Tohru, however, was hesitant to let him attend and insisted that the rat take precautions such as wearing a thermal shirt under his school uniform and keeping some painkillers in his pocket at all times in case his headache came back. She also made him promise to go home or at least take himself to the school nurse if he began to feel worse.

At any rate, Yuki arrived at school with great anxiety. He was going to make sure he talked to Haru properly before the day was out; but he didn't think the lunch breaks would be long enough and before classes wasn't an option. He knew for a fact that Haru's class had a PE lesson at the same time as his on a Tuesday but he doubted he would get a chance to speak to him then anyway. So that left after school.

Yuki would find Haru after school and tell him… Well he wasn't entirely sure what. He would apologise for not being open with Haru, for avoiding him and for not explaining himself sooner, but as for the fact that he seemed to be slightly in love with the ox and that he hadn't been able to keep his mind off of him for the entire weekend… Well he wasn't quite sure if he was ready to tell him that part yet...

He tried hard to focus on his classes and he succeeded… partially. His mind kept drifting and thinking about Haru, whether it was a fantasy involving the two boys and an empty house all to themselves (he especially liked those ones…) or the way Haru had screamed that awful evening. Thankfully though each time Yuki managed to snap back into reality and remind himself that he was still in class before he got into trouble for spacing out and ignoring his work and teacher again.

Although Mr. Nakamura, who was most definitely the school's least favourite teacher by now, sneered at him a few times and almost caught Yuki zoning out more than once. It was close.

When the lunch break arrived Yuki wasn't sure whether to be thankful for the reprieve from work or annoyed for having to put up with the awkward atmosphere between him and Haru.

But when the rat walked into the cafeteria and saw Haru sitting there, looking somewhat dreamy and wistful, he felt an odd pang. Up until then he hadn't realised how much he had actually missed Haru over the past few days, no matter how bad things were between them. He prayed that the other teen wasn't beyond forgiving him…

Yuki felt a spark of hope when Haru saw him and gave him a small smile. It wasn't an exuberant smile, in fact the ox looked more relieved if anything, but that didn't matter. It was a smile from Haru and it was enough to make Yuki give him a small one in return. He felt the need to be close to his cousin after several days apart, so before he could let himself over think it, he walked over and took the seat right next to Haru. He took it as a good sign when the younger teen didn't move away or ask him to set somewhere else, even though he did look marginally shocked that the rat had chosen to sit next to him.

Yuki wished so badly that Haru would close the small gap between them, grab onto his shirt or sling his arm over Yuki's shoulders casually the way he had done thousands of times before. The rat found he missed the contact terribly.

_You never know what you have until it's gone…_

He continually glanced at Haru out of the corner of his eye, silently drinking in the features of the boy with the white hair. He had always admitted to himself that he thought Haru was a good looking boy, but nowadays he just seemed to be more and more attractive each time Yuki saw him. The only thing that was getting in the way of him properly admiring the ox was his clothes…

Unfortunately, Yuki's little fantasy was interrupted when he began coughing again. He closed his eyes and covered his mouth with his hands as he tried to breathe between the coughs that hurt his sore throat and he felt that someone was kind enough to rub his back in a soothing manner as well as a hand gripping onto his arm.

Yuki was sick of having a cold. He wanted his body to hurry up and return to its normal state of health so that he had at least one less problem to worry about. Once his coughing had eased and he was able to take in long, shaky breaths, Yuki opened his eyes again and the first thing his sight locked onto was Haru's concerned face.

At first he flinched in shock at the way Haru's usually emotionless eyes practically screamed worry at him, but the thought that his illness caused Haru's concern made him feel… cared for. Now he realised that it was Haru who had been soothing him and who was still gripping his arm in a worried manner

"Are you okay?" he asked, looking straight at Yuki for the first time in days.

Yuki nodded as he cleared his throat and croaked, "Better now," though he was annoyed at his cold, he found he was still glad of the physical contact he was receiving from Haru because of it.

"Yuki, you look really bad," Momiji's voice suddenly popped up, "Do you think maybe you should go home?"

"Momiji's right Yuki," Tohru's very maternal concern was showing itself again, "We do have a sports lesson next," Kyo just frowned at her comment. Yuki suspected that the cat was hoping for an opportunity to contend him in some way in their sports lesson.

Any other day Yuki might have considered going home, he really did still feel unwell, but he had to stay so he could talk to Haru alone later, "No, that's not necessary," he shook his head, "I'll be fine,"

After reassuring his friends a few more times that he was well enough to stay at school, Yuki couldn't help but be aware of the fact that Haru was still holding onto his arm and that his hand was still resting on his back. He stared down at the slender digits enclosed around his forearm, God how he wanted to intertwine his own fingers with them…

Haru's gaze followed Yuki's and he seemed to slowly register that he was still touching him. Rather suddenly, he removed his hands and returned them to his sides. Yuki began to miss the contact immediately; his skin still felt warm where Haru had touched him…

Eventually the break ended and the group made their way to the gym. Once the boys were in the male change room, although he pretended not to, Yuki couldn't help but sneak glances at Haru when the younger teen removed his shirt. But he was forced to discontinue analysing Haru's body when the ox turned around and saw Yuki looking at him. The rat snapped his eyes back to the ground and he felt his cheeks flush with embarrassment.

After that he refused to allow himself to even so much as look at his cousin as they walked out of the change rooms and split up to join their classes. Yuki mentally scolded himself for ogling Haru when he was supposed to be staying calm and focused.

As it turned out, both of their classes were on the oval for that lesson. They were running sprint races and Haru's class was up first. But of course the ox was unable to participate because of his leg injury. Momiji, on the other hand, went in the race but came third last. He had plenty of energy to run but he was the smallest boy in his class and his legs were just too short to carry him fast enough to win.

Haru was sitting with some of his other classmateson the grass and Yuki's eyes stayed glued to him as the white haired boy watched the rabbit and his classmates run across the oval. He tried to search for indications of any kind of emotion, but Haru remained as externally impassive as ever. In fact, he seemed especially stoic, even more so than usual. Was he trying to hide something?

"You know Yuki, I think you'd find things would be much better if you simply told Hatsuharu the truth," Hana's eerie voice suddenly snaked its way into Yuki's ears.

He jumped and whirled around to find that his female class mate was standing right behind him, "What do you mean by that?" he asked her, narrowing his eyes.

"Don't be so naïve," she huffed, "I think you know exactly what I'm talking about," she cast him another one of those unsettling, all knowing smiles she seemed to be giving him an awful lot lately and stalked off to join Tohru and Arisa.

Yuki was left wonder; just how much did Saki Hanajima know? Perhaps more than he would've liked…

Eventually Yuki's class began running races and it was just his luck that amongst a few other boys, he was against Kyo in his race.

"Yes!' Kyo punched the air as though he had already won the race, "Alright ya damn rat, it's on! Get ready to eat my dust!"

"Have you ever considered the possibility that I do not care about your pathetic little inferiority complex?" Yuki sighed as Kyo snarled at him, "Let's just get this over with,"

The rat and the cat lined up at the start alongside the other boys, Yuki looked over to see his friends all watching and cheering, waiting for the race to begin. For a fleeting moment he wondered who was cheering for whom, and then the race started.

He and Kyo were ahead of all the others right from the start, it may as well have been a race exclusively between the two Sohma boys.

Just as Yuki had expected, Kyo taunted him as they ran, telling him all about how he was going to beat the rat. But in the end Yuki was ahead of him and won the race, much to the chagrin of his orange haired cousin.

"Dammit!" Kyo cursed once the race was over. He pointed at Yuki in an accusing manner and yelled slightly breathlessly, "I'll beat you next time, ya damn rat!"

Yuki, however, was not paying attention to him. He was bent over with his hands on his knees struggling for breath and coughing loudly. Tohru and Haru both ran over to him straight away, the ox began trying to soothe him again as Tohru spoke to Yuki.

"Yuki! Are you alright? Is it your asthma?" she asked frantically.

"I just," pause for several coughs, "I just need a moment… to catch… my breath…"

The onigiri and the ox remained by his side, worrying silently until his breathing regulated and he stood up straight, which unfortunately meant that Haru removed his hands again. By now several students and the sports teachers had their attention turned towards the trio.

"You alright, Sohma?" Yuki's sport teacher asked, "You need to see the school nurse?"

Yuki shook his head, "I'm fine," he took a long, deep breath and turned towards Tohru and Haru, "Really, I am,"

Hesitantly, they left him alone, but both kept an eye on him as he went to rejoin the others sitting on the grass. He wasn't lying, for a moment he had thought he was going to have an attack but it seemed it had just been his cold giving him grief.

But apparently Haru wasn't completely convinced and he came and sat next to Yuki on the ground, the rat smiled at him immediately. For a moment he was hopeful that he was going to receive some sort of physical contact from the younger teen again. But the ox just looked… well, slightly surprised that Yuki seemed happy to see him. It was another reminder for Yuki that he had to set some things straight between them. Hana's words came back to whisper in his head, "_Things would be much better if you simply told Hatsuharu the truth,"_

Would they? Yuki wondered. Was there a chance that Haru would accept his love, and maybe even return it? He had always openly expressed rather… _affectionate_ behaviour towards Yuki prior to the incident at the Secret he had never actually properly explained himself; did he really love Yuki _that_ way? If he did, it would probably explain why Haru had been so enraged when he thought Yuki was in love with someone else…

He continued to ponder this as Momiji's class began to run races again and he and the ox watched their younger cousin run as fast he could, the energetic rabbit managed to make it to third place this time. All the while Yuki was incredibly aware of the fact that Haru was sitting next to him, glancing at him every so often; he appeared to still be worried about Yuki. Evermore, the rat wished for some kind of display of the familiar affectionate behaviour from him…

Eventually it was Yuki's turn again and Kyo was immediately pumped for the race, "Alright rat, rematch! I swear I'll beat you this time!" he yelled.

"How strange," Yuki said as he stood up and walked over to the start line, regretfully leaving Haru (who seemed slightly on edge now that Yuki was about to race again) behind, "I feel as though I've heard that somewhere before…"

"Damn you…" Kyo snarled through his teeth as he joined Yuki.

Like the race before, as soon as it began the rat and the cat were ahead of everyone else, and everyone expected Yuki to suddenly race past his cousin just as he had before. So they were all rather shocked when halfway through the race his steps began to falter and he began to slow, allowing Kyo to speed ahead of him.

He wasn't doing it on purpose though; Yuki was having trouble breathing again. He could practically feel his windpipe shrinking and his legs were starting to feel weak…

When Yuki staggered over the finish line in second place, Kyo immediately spun around to mock him, "Ha! I told you I'd- Hey? Yuki…?" the cat stopped his proud yelling when he saw his cousin suddenly drop onto his knees and begin coughing violently.

Yuki heard Haru call out his name, and then he and Tohru were beside him again. But he was having trouble hearing exactly what everyone around him was saying over the sound of his own gasping and wheezing. He recognised the frantic yelling of his friends, the confused voices of his fellow students and he was almost certain he could hear his teacher asking someone questions in a panicked tone.

It seemed that no matter how much he gasped and coughed, he just couldn't get any air into his lungs. Now he was worried, it was an asthma attack for sure. But the more he panicked about his lack of air, the harder it became to breathe at all. Yuki heard more yelling around him, it sounded like his teacher was barking out orders now, but he wasn't sure because his hearing was becoming somewhat fuzzy…

He tried to talk, to tell them that his inhaler was in the pocket of his school jacket in his locker, but his whole head felt heavy and he could barely speak. In the end, all that came out of his mouth was another cough and then a wheezy, "Can't… breath…"

As soon as those words escaped his lips, the rat felt a pair of strong arms suddenly wrap themselves around him, lift him up and clutch him close to something warm and comforting. Yuki opened his eyes and looked up to see that it was Haru who had picked him up and was now running awkwardly with him in his arms. _Of course it's Haru,_ Yuki thought to himself, _He's always there… always looking after me…_

"It's alright Yuki," Haru panted as he ran in a limped fashion towards the school's main building, "I've got you, don't worry. You'll be fine!"

He sounded as though we was trying to convince himself as well as the rat, but nonetheless Yuki believed him wholeheartedly. He pressed himself closer to the warmth of Haru's body and the last thought that ran through his mind before his vision blurred and he lost consciousness was, _Everything's going to be fine. Haru's here, he'll look after me, he always does…_

_

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_

**A/N. **Oh dear! Yuki didn't get to talk to Haru! I'm not very nice to the boys, am I? They can't have an instant happy ending as soon as Yuki realises he loves Haru. Nuh uh. But it makes it far more interesting I think! More review thankies to:

**yukixharuyaoi- **Thanks! Heh, I know! It seems to be my preferred genre for fanfiction XD. BUT, I have begun writing the date-fic you requested! :D

**Tuliharja- **I know, I feel sorry for them too and I wrote the damn story! Lol! Haha yeah, really both are hiding their feelings because they think they won't be accepted; and in Yuki's case it's also because he's not usually good at being honest about his emotions and he's worried about his 'reputation', so to speak. Ha, yeah it would be very cliché if Tohru were to comfort Yuki, no matter how in-character it is! XD

**tahira- **Haha! That's totally what I keep thinking as I write scenes between the two, this story almost seems to have a mind of its own! But there WILL be a confession of love sooner or later! :D

**Pheonix09- **Thank you! I hope you've been enjoying it! ^_^

**Niouyuki- **Yay! A new reviewer! XD. Yes it is rather sad, isn't it? I pity the poor Sohma boys too, Haru in particular as well. The poor ox doesn't really fully know what's going on so he's left to assume the worst but thank you for reviewing!

**Wolfysrain- **Really! One of your favourites! OMFG! *is so incredibly happy right now!* Thank you soo much! Hehe, yeah I decided to use the Japanese term for rice-ball because referring to a living person as an edible object was just… odd! XD

One word: review.

Thank ya for reading! ^.^


	11. Let Sleeping Rats Lie

**A/N: **First of all, allow me to say….. I'M SO SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG TO UPDATE! D:

Ahem… So yeah I haven't updated in how many weeks? I am dreadfully sorry for being so negligent! I've been rather distracted over the last month or so. By many things including personal/family issues but mostly school. School. Homework. School. School. Homework. SCHOOL! Bleaugh. But now we have gotten past first term progress reports/teacher interviews and I'm on a Easter holiday break for the rest of the week! Woo! So I found the motivation to drag myself out of bed and do some long overdue writing!

Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits basket. Anyone who hasn't realised this by now is a silly creature.

Warnings: Boy on boy (aka Yaoi) and mentions of past child abuse, very mild and infrequent bad language.

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**Chapter Eleven**

Less than an hour after his dramatic collapse, Yuki was deep in slumber under the covers in his bed with a very anxious and watchful Haru perched on the end of the mattress, ready and waiting for him to wake up.

The older boy had not regained consciousness once, not even when Hatori arrived to pick him up (on Shigure's request) and Haru had argued with the doctor about allowing him to accompany the sick boy back to the dog's house. The ox had won the argument eventually but he suspected that was because Hatori had been worried that Black Haru would show himself.

So now Haru watched Yuki intently as he slept. He noticed the way the rat was snuggled deep into the various blankets as though he had made himself a nest out of the sheets and duvets. _He always used to sleep like this when he was cold or sick…_

He also noticed that Yuki's smooth pale skin was even whiter than usual, with a flushed but slowly fading rosy red colour painted on his cheeks; cheeks which were framed by sweaty pieces of his usually soft and wispy hair. Twitching eyelids that hid the most beautiful violet orbs Haru had ever known suggested that the rat was dreaming. Even in sickness he was still the most gorgeous creature on Earth in the eyes of the boy with the black and white hair.

Of course Yuki was never flawless in every sense of the word, no one in the world was, but he was perfect to Haru. The ox felt extreme jealousy towards whoever could call this portrayal of perfection theirs to love.

Haru wished that for just a single moment he could simply pretend that Yuki was his and his only, and that he loved him in return.

And then he had an idea. _Well, why not? _He thought to himself. Shigure and Hatori were busy conversing downstairs, Kyo and Tohru were still at school and Yuki was hardly aware of what was going on around him. Besides, surely the older boy would appreciate the extra heat…

Before he even had the chance to reconsider or think of the possible consequences, Haru slipped off his shoes, lifted up the covers on Yuki's bed and climbed in next to his sleeping angel, lying on his side with Yuki's back facing him. There was barely more than four inches between the two boys, they were so close that he could smell the natural, sweet scent that he associated with the rat.

So close…

Several minutes passed and Haru just lay there, staring at the back of Yuki's head, thinking about all of the situations where he'd been so hopeful for some kind of affection from the rat. And he began wondering if he dared to get any closer, if it was worth risking waking the other boy…

The decision was made for Haru though when Yuki suddenly rolled over sluggishly in his sleep so that he was facing the younger teen. And then he shuffled up closer, then closer still… until his whole body was practically pressed against the ox, with his hands placed upon Haru's chest and his head resting under his chin.

All the while Haru stayed perfectly still and held his breath in a state of shock and wonder, waiting for Yuki to wake up, realise what was happening and move away from him. To show revulsion or disgust, maybe even a flash of annoyance, anger or hatred. Perhaps he would accuse the ox of taking advantage of him in a weakened state? But when all that came from the sleeping teen was a very content sigh, Haru was able to breathe again.

And then he realised how fantastic this situation was. Carefully, so as not to wake Yuki, Haru gently wrapped his own arm around the older boy's sleeping form. He held his breath again when Yuki fidgeted, but was soon put at ease when the rat only snuggled into him further.

If that was at all possible; to get any closer to each other the pair would have had to physically melt into one another. The ox tried desperately not to dwell upon the rather…_ inappropriate_ imaginings that suggestive thought provoked in him. He knew from experience that lust was another way to bring Black Haru out and that would be most inconvenient for him, especially now of all times. No doubt his Black side _would _take advantage of the sleeping rat, and the ox did not want to put any more strain on their already somewhat tentative relationship.

Haru was totally amazed that Yuki was actually sleeping in his arms; it seemed to good to be true, and too unlikely as well. But maybe the rat was dreaming of sleeping in the arms of the person he loved, maybe he was mistaking Haru for that person. Or perhaps it was more likely that in his unconscious state he had just been seeking something, but what? Warmth? A pillow? Haru…?

Eventually the ox told his mind to just shut the hell up and let him enjoy this rare moment while it lasted, to not question why it was happening and just accept that it was. Because it would probably never happen again.

And he did enjoy it. For a while he was able to just pretend that Yuki was finally his, and he forgot about everything that was wrong in his life, because none of that mattered if he had his first love.

His first love… his Yuki… Haru knew the rat would sometimes claim that he wasn't a very nice person, that he was selfish or unkind; but he was wrong. Yuki had to be the kindest person Haru had ever known.

He remembered when he was very young, years before he met Yuki in the window, even then the rat had shown him kindness when all Haru gave him in return was misguided hatred and rage; something he still wished he could take back, he felt so guilty when he thought of the way he used to loathe the rat and make no effort to hide it.

Haru could never even _dream _of doing something like that to Yuki now. He loved him far too much. Loved, not hated. He hadn't felt resentment towards Yuki for years, not since that day at the window.

He sometimes wondered if his past malevolence towards the older boy had caused some of the emotional damage he knew Yuki still suffered from. But he didn't like to think about it too much, it just made him feel too awful…

Haru looked down at the sleeping boy in his arms, he honestly wished he could take back everything he had done to Yuki as a child. As well as the words he had yelled at him only days earlier. He wanted nothing more than to protect Yuki from pain. As long as his beloved was happy, he could be content.

But for the moment, he wanted to continue pretending that the rat truly was _his_ love.

Rather awkwardly, he shifted his other arm out from underneath his body and reached up to stroke a few wisps of Yuki's hair away from his eyes, which exposed part of his forehead.

The ox was so caught up in his fantasy of the rat being his one and only that he automatically followed his urge to put his lips against the now revealed patch of pale skin in front of him; he leaned down, closed his eyes… and pressed a kiss to the smooth skin on Yuki's forehead.

With his eyes still closed, Haru moved back just enough to give his mouth room to speak and in a hushed tone he said to the slumbering rat, "I'm sorry Yuki…" though it wasn't nearly enough in his eyes, the ox was apologising for every cruel word he had ever spoken in regards to the rat.

Haru sighed and moved back into his previous position, opening his eyes as he did so. For a split second he didn't notice anything different about Yuki, and then he realised. Then he saw a familiar set of violet eyes staring back at him, only half open but definitely conscious. Yuki was awake.

It's rather strange the way time appears to come to a standstill when something happens that shocks you. And what seems like minutes is actually mere seconds.

But Haru was convinced that for at least three minutes he just froze right there in Yuki's bed and stared at him in what must have been a very dumbfounded manner.

And Yuki looked right back at him, blinking slowly and sleepily every so often. Though it seemed too much to ask, Haru knew the rat was very slow when it came to waking up and he mentally crossed his fingers in the hope that Yuki wouldn't notice him lying there and that he would just go back to sleep if the ox stayed perfectly still and remained completely silent.

But of course, things seldom go how we want them to.

Yuki leaned back a few inches and squinted, as though he couldn't believe what he was seeing. No doubt his sleepy mind was having trouble understanding his current situation. The last thing he would remember before losing consciousness was probably collapsing on the oval at school. Suddenly waking up at home with your bipolar cousin in your bed would undoubtedly be too much to comprehend for someone who was still half asleep and drowsy from an asthma attack.

"Ha… Haru…?" the rat finally slurred.

Haru panicked.

As soon as Yuki spoke and confirmed that he was indeed awake and aware of his presence, the ox whipped his arm away from him and jumped up, attempting to escape the bed as quickly as possible.

He tried in vain to untangle himself from the sheets which had somehow wound themselves around his limbs and were preventing him from getting out of Yuki's bed as he rambled, "I'm so sorry Yuki! I shouldn't have… I'm sorry for waking you, I'll go right now…"

"Wait…" came Yuki's tired voice. A soft, pale hand snaked its way out from under the sheets and latched onto Haru's wrist in a loose grip, "Stay. You're warm…"

The ox stopped and gaped at the rat, Yuki was staring back at him wearily but somewhat expectedly with his eyes half lidded. Was he being serious? He couldn't be, surely not! For a moment Haru suspected that the older teen was still mistaking him for someone else…

But then Yuki spoke again, "Haru please," he whined sluggishly, "I'm cold…"

Well, Haru was not one to deny someone a service he could provide easily. And besides, what was a little body heat between friends? Cousins even, if you wanted to think of it like that, although Haru usually preferred not to. But at least, he assumed they were still friends…

Haru pushed those thoughts aside. They didn't matter right now. What mattered was that Yuki was still sick and he was asking Haru to stay with him and help him to… keep his body temperature up.

So the ox obliged. He gave up with his battle against the sheets and slipped back in between them. And he couldn't help but smile a little when Yuki repeated the adorable process of snuggling into him.

"Thanks," the rat sighed, placing his head back under the younger teen's chin.

He had no idea.

In his oblivious, half asleep state Yuki was totally unaware of the feelings he was stirring up inside Haru; which was a good thing. The ox imagined that the rat wouldn't be quite so at ease with pressing himself up against his body if he only knew half of the things Haru thought. The thoughts that involved Yuki in particular...

As he had done earlier, Haru forced all such thoughts as far back as he could manage. He would not allow Black Haru to consume him and take advantage of his current position. It was tricky though, Yuki was certainly not helping by acting so… so… so perfectly alright with it all!

It might have been easier for Haru to remember the fact that Yuki did not return his feelings and that he wouldn't appreciate it if he was kissed by the ox if the rat had just been a bit more tense or ill at ease.

But he wasn't! Snuggled against Haru, he quite literally _felt_ calm and relaxed. Comfortable.

The poor ox had to remind himself every few seconds that Yuki was only doing this because he was sick, cold and half asleep. Sick, cold and half asleep. Sick, cold and half asleep. He repeated it in his head over and over as though it was some kind of mantra.

For a moment or two everything was so _silent_. Haru didn't dare move or make a sound except to breathe and Yuki was so still and quiet he assumed he had fallen asleep again.

However he was proven wrong when Yuki spoke again, "Relax Haru," he sighed blearily, "You're not so comfy when you're tense…" he still sounded half asleep and rather groggy and Haru had to wonder how long it would be before he woke up properly and realised what he was doing…

Nevertheless, the rat had made another request and the ox felt obligated to fulfill it.

"Sorry," he said as he eradicated all the tension from his body.

"Told you before," Yuki grunted against Haru's chest, "Don't apologise,"

_He told me before…?_ Haru wondered. He must have been referring to that afternoon; the day after Haru's outburst at the Secret Base; he still felt awful for that. From what he could remember, it was the first time in years that he had gone Black because of Yuki and actually been angry with him. And the rat had refused to allow him to apologise…

"But I am sorry Yuki. About the other night-"

"No," the rat interrupted him in a tired yet surprisingly stolid voice, "Shouldn't be. I'm the sorry one,"

"You're not making any sense, Yuki. What do you have to be sorry for…?" Haru inquired, although he wasn't sure whether or not to expect a helpful answer. Often the rat was just completely incoherent for a reasonable period of time after being woken up and he seemed to be in that kind of state now.

"I'm," pause for several coughs, "I was awful to you… Forgive me…?"

"Yuki, you've got it all wrong. I'm the one who's supposed to be-"

"Forgive me or not?" the rat seemed to be certain that he was supposed to be the one apologising. Although no matter how odd it was, Haru decided to take it as a sign that Yuki had already forgiven him. And he hoped he was right.

"Alright then," he said, "I forgive you, Yuki,"

"Just friends then?" he mumbled, the rat's sleepy voice was being muffled into Haru's shirt.

In fact the ox could feel Yuki's breath on his skin through the thin fabric of his school shirt. It was terribly distracting but he made himself pay attention and reply, "What do you mean _just _friends? We're best friends aren't we?" he reassured him, "What else would we be?"

"Right…" it wasn't really an answer to his question, but Haru thought the rat sounded like he might fall back asleep soon so he didn't press for any further explanation.

For several more moments Yuki and Haru just lay there together, silent and unmoving.

The rat's mind was so hazy from sickness and sleep that he was perfectly comfortable with snuggling up to Haru. After all, he was cold. It was just a simple exchange of body heat of course.

The ox, however, was thinking a thousand different thoughts all at once. He wondered about many things. And not all of them were directly linked to each other. A lot of them were things that he normally thought about; Yuki's proximity to him, the soft feel of his purple-gray hair, the smooth surface of his pale skin, the rosiness of his flushed cheeks and the way his eyelashes brushed against them. Just the usual stuff.

But Haru also thought about all of the recent events. He still did not know who Yuki's supposed love interest was. Although he was hanging on to the vain hope that Yuki would _lose _interest in them very quickly. But he hastily shut himself up about that because it was the sort of thinking that would surely trigger his Black state; thoughts of jealousy and resentment.

He also wondered if Yuki was going to continue the odd action of avoiding him.

Haru hoped not. He still wasn't entirely sure of Yuki's reasons for doing that but the ox wasn't going to try and question his actions again. He was just going to remain neutral about the whole situation; by which he meant Yuki.

He decided that perhaps he should lay off his affectionate behaviour towards the violet eyed boy. It was probably making the rat uncomfortable because he harbored feelings for someone else.

Haru could understand that.

He himself was the same; for example, sitting as close as possible to Momiji or Kyo and slinging his arm around their shoulder or holding onto the edge of their shirt as they walked down the corridor would just feel bizarre and uncomfortable to him and it would be the same feeling if either one of them did those things in return. Because he wasn't in love with either of them, it didn't feel right.

It felt right to do those things with Yuki, but the rat must dislike them because he wasn't in love with Haru. The ox concluded that that must be the reason for his distancing himself from Haru. And he preferred it to his other theory of Yuki disowning him out of shame.

Yes, he preferred it a great deal.

Eventually Yuki had been so still and quiet that Haru was certain he had fallen asleep. Gently, he untangled himself from the sheets and pulled away from the rat; who proved he was asleep by lazily reaching out with his eyes tightly shut and grabbing a pillow to cuddle once Haru was almost off the bed.

The ox had been very comfortable holding Yuki while he slept. But that was just it, he was _too _comfortable. And he couldn't allow himself to slip up again and do something idiotic like kiss him, it would be especially bad if he went for the lips the second time… He doubted even a half asleep Yuki Sohma could miss something like that.

And there was no way he could risk damaging their friendship like that. As it was they were only just getting past a sort of falling out, they certainly didn't need another.

But before he left the room, Haru made sure to cover Yuki with the blankets snugly. It was sort of humourous; tucking Yuki in like he was just a child again. And when the ox stood back to watch the sleeping beauty for just a few more moments, he couldn't help but think that he looked a little bit like a child too; tucked into bed, cuddling a pillow like some kind of teddy bear.

And he looked adorable

If it had been anyone other than Yuki, Haru would've said it was impossible for someone to achieve such a precious look so effortlessly, but the older boy looked gorgeous all the time anyway.

After gently stroking Yuki's face just once (he was simply too cute to resist!), Haru quietly left the room, making sure to shut the door behind him carefully. Although he left the room with the intention of finding some kind of distraction he ended up lingering outside in the hallway for 10 minutes at the very least; it occurred to him the minute he shut the door behind him that he was totally paranoid about Yuki having some sort of relapse while he wasn't in the room with him. In fact, he had to gently open the door and take a quick look in about four times over that 10 minute period before he was able to convince himself that Yuki was fine.

But now what?

He couldn't go back into Yuki's room and just watch him sleep, no, he didn't trust himself with that. More specifically he didn't trust his other self.

The only other people in the house were Shigure and Hatori, neither of whom he particularly wanted to have a conversation with. And Kyo and Tohru wouldn't be back for at least another half hour or so.

Eventually he ended up aimlessly wandering down the stairs. And he noticed that the house didn't look like it had sustained any new damage from one of Yuki and Kyo's fights. So they hadn't been fighting too much recently? Were they starting to get along, even if only slightly? Although if they were, it was probably just for Tohru's sake; the girl did tend to fret whenever they fought with one another.

Either way, it was good if they were fighting less. At least Shigure wouldn't have to worry about the frequent destruction of his poor house so much.

Once he reached the bottom of the stairs Haru suddenly remembered his bike; he still hadn't taken it back home. Now with an objective of sorts, to locate his bicycle, the ox headed towards the front door.

As he walked past the kitchen, Haru heard Shigure and Hatori talking; he wasn't sure what the two adults were talking about, not that he particularly wanted to know, but he heard snippets of what sounded like Shigure trying to convince Hatori that he was being serious about something. No easy task…

The family doctor spotted Haru as he walked past the kitchen entrance, "Hatsuharu," he said, "How is Yuki?"

"He's fine," the ox stopped to reply to him, "He's asleep for now,"

"Good," the doctor nodded his head in approval.

And then Shigure piped up, "So, tell me Haru," he smiled, "Did you ever find out anything more about Yuki's romance issues?"

"No, Sensei," was his only reply.

Haru didn't really want to talk about Yuki's love life, _ever. _Unless of course that conversation included him in a certain context; but that was irrelevant because the chances of it ever happening were next to nothing.

So he left Hatori to deal with the ever humourous dog and went outside to find his bicycle.

He didn't have to look far; it was propped up against the building practically right next to the front door. Haru must've walked straight past it when he came in earlier, but he hadn't really been paying attention to the scenery then, more so the unconscious boy in his arms.

Well, now he was done collecting his inventory, what else could he do?

Just under half an hour until the others finished school and an unknown period of time until Yuki was awake again, especially now that he would be able to sleep without Haru disturbing him…

He thought for a moment and then, on a whim, decided to go and visit the Secret Base.

The ox quickly went inside and asked the other Sohmas to keep an eye on Yuki for him and told them that he would be back soon. And then off he went on his bike, pedaling his way to the Secret Base. It hurt his sore leg a bit but so did walking, so really it didn't make too much of a difference.

Fortunately he was able to remember how to get there again. But once he did arrive there was one thing he noticed immediately.

Half the strawberries were dead.

And he already knew the cause: himself. He recognised the patch of the garden where he had kicked at it in his unjust fury, the strawberry plants that he had hit were all sprawled out across the ground and/or shredded. Either way they were dead.

But why hadn't Yuki gotten rid of them? Or better yet, why hadn't he saved them when he still had the chance? Well that was his fault again, wasn't it? Because in a roundabout way he had caused the rat to fall ill and be forced to stay inside for the weekend.

Haru felt a renewed spark of guilt ignite within him.

But he tried not to dwell upon it. He had already decided he was going to just try to make up for his mistakes and put it all in the past.

So he got to work on fixing up the garden as best he knew how.

Haru wasn't really much of a gardener, that had always been Yuki's passion, but he was not totally without skill. He busied himself by gathering up all the lifeless strawberry plants and throwing them away into a nearby bush. Then he got to work on gathering all the soil back to its original place and carefully uncovering some of the living plants.

Once he was finished with his task, Yuki's garden looked almost exactly the same, only with less strawberry plants. But there was nothing he could do about that, not yet anyway.

Haru figured he had spent at least 20 minutes or so attempting to fix the Secret Base, which meant that Kyo and Tohru would be finishing school any minute now and soon they would be on their way back. So the ox hastily rode back to Shigure's. He couldn't help but to start feeling paranoid about Yuki again when he realised how long he'd been.

When he arrived at the Sohma house, Haru propped his bike on the building and rushed into the house and up the stairs to check on his sick Yuki.

Of course he was careful again to not make too much noise as he opened the door to the rat's room, but as it turned out, that wasn't necessary.

Because there, sitting up in his bed looking wide awake and alert, was Yuki.

Staring right at Haru.

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**A/N: **Dun dun duuuun! This time Yuki really is awake!

Hpmh, this chapter is rather long and kinda meh. But oh well, it's better than nothing I suppose and there's not much I can do about the poor quality. Specially since it's *looks at clock* 2:35AM and I'm half asleep myself. I apologise in advance for any spelling and/or grammar mistakes that I missed. Hopefully there'll be another update in the next week or so but unfortunately based on the recent unpredictability of my life I can make no promises….. -.-'

**Tuliharja: **Thanks for reviewing again! Haha yeah well Hana does tend to be a bit mysterious and all that! And obviously she's also very perceptive (but how could she not be with her awesome psychic powers!). Yes Yuki was a silly boy! But he didn't want the others to worry (that certainly backfired on him!) and Kyo wanted him to compete etc etc. Kyo didn't notice Yuki was in trouble during the race; he was too focused on winning! He only noticed after the race when he turned around to boast. He won't be counting that as a proper win though, because as you said he wants to beat Yuki in a fair match. But I apologise if you thought he was OOC.

**Pheonix09: **Aha, yes it was kinda predictable wasn't it? XD Thanks!

**mousecat: **Thanks! No that one kind word was enough to encourage me to write more! ^.^

**mistic fox: **Thank you so much! Aw really? *hands you a tissue* just in case XD

**Wolfys4ever: **Thanks! Well then I hope your brain enjoyed this! Haha! Oh yes, the Prince can be naughty when he wants….. lol!

Also, thank you to all the people who have added this story to their story alert and/or their favourites!

Reviews are love. For every review I get, the likelihood that there will be another update soon is higher!

Thank you for reading! ^.^


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